What's Meant to Be
by Karneene
Summary: Haruhi made her choice when she jumped in that carriage, but can the others accept what's meant to be? And can any girl resist a group of intelligent and charming boys that all have their own agenda, fate or not? It's left to who makes the first move...
1. Wheres the host club?

**A/N:**

**I know that I haven't written anything in forever. There's a personal reason for this that I'd rather not mention. I'm sorry. As for my other story, with Caitlyn, I don't know that I'll be finishing it anytime soon. Perhaps in the future, but not anytime soon. Thank you anyhow, and hopefully this story will tide you over.**

Has anything changed?

She paused at the door handle.

He's back, isn't he? Isn't that what you wanted?

She looked down at her hand. Pale fingers wrapped around the polished gold handle.

Is it? What to say? Is there anything to say?

Silence. Not even a sound from the other side of the door.

Did it mean anything? Does he even understand what happened?

She sighed, pulled her hand from the doorknob, instead choosing to slump against the wall, her back against it.

Do I? Kyouya made it clear that she was going to let him visit his mother. So why'd he stay? Not all because of me… They've known him longer…

She stood up, sighed again. Turned to the door.

Nothing to do but grin and bear it. Can't have your debt increasing, now can you?

But her consternation was all for nothing. The whole room was empty. No tables, no flowers swirling when the door was opened.

Where's the host club???


	2. Trial and Error?

Hesitant, she stepped into the room. She could never know what to expect with those idiots. And although she would have liked to say that she was glad there was no one to be found, she was slightly disappointed. She had hoped to get it over with. She'd already lost enough sleep over it.

She'd seen the twins earlier that day. She'd lied and told them she had to use the restroom, and they'd gone ahead. So where was everyone?

All of a sudden the lights went out, startling her. She smiled wryly to herself. This was more like it. One of their ridiculous stunts. She could imagine Hikaru's bored voice: "Oh, it's just Haruhi." A spotlight appeared then, on a door to her right. Had that been there before?

"What now?" she murmured, not really surprised. They'd created an artificial jungle in the third music room. It was no surprise if they'd created a room off to the side. But… it still was a bit odd. Yet, it was obviously meant to show here where to go. With a mushroom sigh, she walked towards the door; she was sure that Kyouya would find a way to get her back in debt if she pushed him too far.

The doors opened in front of her, revealing a relatively (and uncharacteristically since it was the host club) empty room. There was a spotlight on one chair in the middle of the room, obviously implying that she sit in it. As soon as she-reluctantly-did so, lights flashed on, blinding her. When her vision had cleared she saw five members of the host club gathered around her, most of them sitting, Kyouya and Mori leaned against the walls. Everyone had a very serious look on their face, even Huny.

"Glad you could finally join us," said Kyouya in his usual smooth tone, with his usual sarcasm. Haruhi was not at all surprised at his calm demeanor when this gathering was anything but normal.

"What's this about?" she asked resignedly. She looked around. "Where's senpai?"

"Of course she'd ask that," muttered Hikaru, but she couldn't be sure. Kaoru looked at his twin, but said nothing. Everyone looked at Kyouya.

"This was not my idea," he said nonchalantly, not bothering to look up, his notebook in his hand even now. Everyone watched him twirl his pen for a few moments, then finally turned back to Haruhi.

"Haru-chan," began Huny, tilting his head to the side, "what happened with Tama-chan?"

Oh. So that's what this was all about. She relaxed slightly.

"I met up with Tamaki-Senpai on the bridge. He'd decided that he was hurting us with the Host Club, and thought it was better if he left." She shrugged. "I told him he was an idiot and that we were joking when we said he was causing problems. Then the carriage lurched and I fell off the side. Senpai jumped after me, and she drove away."

"So, what you're saying is that he didn't have a choice," responded Kyouya. Haruhi looked up at him, but his glasses glared.

"Not…really…" She paused. "I would have been fine without him. I can swim."

"Like how you were fine at the beach," said the twins.

"I _was_ fine," she protested, shrugging. She was obviously unperturbed by all of it.

"You were unconscious!" Hikaru exclaimed, looking amused and annoyed at the same time. Her eyes strayed to the cast, and she decided he must be in pain.

"I wasn't this time."

"Tama-chan didn't know that you would be okay," pointed out Huny.

"He didn't have to come. He could have stayed," she argued, her voice no longer uncaring.

"And let you fall?" asked Kaoru quietly, in that reasoning tone of his.

"It's not like I fell on purpose." Her voice was defensive.

"Hm." Mori said, and for once she couldn't discern his meaning.

"I'm sure you didn't, but it didn't give him much of a choice," said Kyouya coolly.

"He looked happy enough at the dance."

"Tama-chan wouldn't like making us sad."

"Well why don't you ask _him_ then!?"

Silence.

The pounding of her blood in her ears, the echoes of her voice around the room. But no other sound at all. She didn't know why she'd yelled. Well, of course she knew why. She just didn't want to admit it. What if… what if he hadn't come back because he wanted to? All faces remained serious, and she found herself staring at Huny. Wishing for a smile, and offer of cake, anything that would seem remotely normal for the older and shorter boy. And then the twins, hoping for a "gotcha" smirk, or a hint of twincest, anything that would get rid of that look on their faces. Those identical looks of slight pain that surprised her so much. And then to Kyouya, imagining him telling her that her outburst would cost her X amount of yen. But he simply stared back at her, his glasses for once not glaring, instead dark slate-grey eyes burning holes into her. And for once in her life she could see a flicker of emotion in them. It lasted less than a second, but she saw the same pain of the twins reflected in his eyes. And finally to Mori, his expressionless face the one she settled on because it was familiar and it made her feel a little more normal. And, finally seeing something familiar, she spoke.

"Don't we have customers?" Her voice came out dry. Kyouya nodded, and settled into his familiar glasses-glaring pose.

"This little gathering has cost us. I suggest you get out there and make up for Tamaki's absence today," he looked pointedly at the twins, and they shivered simultaneously before slipping out the doors together. Kyouya adjusted his glasses and walked after them, Huny bouncing behind, tugging Mori along and asking him if he could have some chocolate cake, would he like some, did they have strawberry for after that.

Haruhi sat there for a few more moments, and the only thing that motivated her to stand was the thought of Kyouya replacing her debt for lack of work.

**A/N: R and R, pls. I know that was really tense and a little OOC, but I hope you don't mind. I'm a little rusty. Review pls! If I get a lot of reviews I might even update tomorrow despite my huge project and practice and homework and babysitting…**


	3. Cryptic Advice

**A/N: cringes No one murder me, please. I've been really busy with work and school and all, I'm really sorry. Also, I was at a bit of an impasse with this story. I have really good ideas and all but I don't want to go too quickly and I don't want to get ooc… **

**Anyhow, here's the next chapter. Sorry!**

She turned over several possibilities in her head as she cleaned up after their customers. They'd all gone, Huni's yawns forcing Takashi to take him home right away, Hikaru all but running out the door in a strange fit of nearly-girlish moodiness with Kaoru trailing behind after glancing meaningfully at her and mouthing something that looked suspiciously like good luck. What that was about…well, who knew? Well, truthfully she was nearly sure she did. But now that her denseness at her…situation…had dissipated, things were so much more complicated, and she wished she was with Tamaki in oblivion again. Only part of her, however. But now…what to do?

She'd sighed in relief when the last customer had left. She'd spent the day trying to figure out a course of action. And she hadn't really gotten anywhere. It was hard to pretend today, after what had happened. And…what exactly was it that had happened? Well…there was only one way to find out. And truthfully, one she'd rather not go for.

"You should go see him."

Haruhi jumped. Speak of the devil… Of course, it was only the Shadow King, his very nature making her nearly forget he was there. She turned, seeing him slipping his notebook into its concealed pocket and preparing to leave.

"Who?" she said, again playing dense. Kyouya simply raised an eyebrow and adjusted his glasses. "Oh…hai…can I ask you something?"

"Hmm," he responded, feigning disinterest and closing his laptop.

"What was-…Kyouya Senpai, was Tamaki Senpai absent today?"

"He was in class, if that is what you are asking." He paused, a strange look on his face. "If you can call sitting in the window and looking out distractedly being in class," His voice remained in the same tone as before, although he was well aware of what this news would do to her. Not bothering to wait for a response, he began to head for the door.

"Kyouya Senpai?"

He sighed inaudibly. "Yes, Haruhi?" he asked impatiently, not bothering to turn. She was going to make him do something he would regret if he stayed too long, this he knew. She opened her mouth again to ask, but something completely different came out instead.

"…gomenasai." She said. He paused for a few moments longer, letting that sink in. Debating whether or not to speak. Deciding it was best to leave it be. And then he too left the Natural Type all alone in the third music room, large and empty enough to echo her thoughts.

* * *

_This is _such_ a bad idea…_she thought to herself, following meekly behind the maid. She was going on and on about how he'd come home earlier than usual and gone straight to his room and the whole house was worried about him and she was glad one of his friends had come and-

"This is his room. I'll leave you to it. Good luck!" she said, backing up as she spoke. She walked around the corner and Haruhi got the feeling that several people stood behind it with her, but she ignored the probability and knocked gently on the door.

"I told you I'm not hungry," came a muffled voice from the other side of the door.

"Last time I checked I wasn't a maid," she said dryly. There was no response but a bit of shuffling and rustling of bedclothes on the other side of the door. She continued on, encouraged by the sounds of movement. "I was told that you were informed I was here-oh…"

Tamaki stood in the door, looking down at the floor and rubbing his eyes. He was wearing nothing but a pair of black pants, contrasting starkly against the pale exposed skin.

"What do you-Haruhi!" He stood stock still as if he'd been hot over the back of the head with a board. A blush slowly formed on his cheeks and down his neck, and he reached somewhere back into the room for a button-down shirt which he shrugged onto his broad shoulders.

"I've seen you without a shirt on before Senpai," she deadpanned.

"Ah…yes…" he began, in his trademark way, "but it is not proper for a man to have a woman in his house if he is not properly dressed…and…um…you see-"

"What about a father and a daughter?" she asked, her voice barely remaining calm. The atmosphere changed completely and Tamaki stopped talking and continued to stare at the floor, rubbing the back of his neck and somehow managing to look cute and idiotic and hot at the same time.

_Did I just… hot??? _She shuddered inwardly, but he didn't seem to notice. He seemed to be intently focused on the carpet fibers beneath their feet._ And what's worse, I think…I think he actually knows…_ She nearly groaned. His actions confirmed it. But he didn't know that she knew. So now, how to go about addressing the problem? Especially the issue of everyone else…

"I didn't see you at the host club today, Senpai." she began again after a few moments. She had to step carefully. "Are you alright?"

"I…I was sick, that's all-"

"Kyouya-Senpai said that you were in school today."

"Ah…yes, I was fine this morning but I felt sick so I came home after school and I…um…yes."

"I see."

Again, silence. A lawyer in training she was indeed, although she was beginning to suspect that this particular behavior wasn't what he needed right now.

"You should go, Haruhi. Before I get you sick."

_Suspicions confirmed._

"…hai. But…will we see you tomorrow? Your customers missed you."

"…I don't know."

"Oh…hai. Alright then." The door closed.

Haruhi sighed and turned, realizing that she was now faced with the daunting task of remembering how to get out of the Suou man-

"So you're Haruhi then," said a woman. She looked strangely familiar…

_Shima…that's right._ She nodded.

"That makes sense," she said, confusing the brown-haired girl. "If I may say so, I advise you to just put up with him. I believe it will be worth it at some point."

Haruhi blanched, but she followed the beckoning woman.

"He's a bit…well, slow on the uptake. I'll admit that," she continued. "But I've worked here a long time. I can't help but notice things. He tries. More often than not he fails, but he tries."

Haruhi didn't say anything. She was a bit too confused to do anything except walk. She felt sick…somehow. And to make matters worse it seemed that everyone was bent on being cryptic today. And perhaps she was being a hypocrite.

"And it seems to me that's he's trying with you. Which is all a person can do, is it not?"

"…" Haruhi couldn't think of a response. She simply nodded a confused goodbye and headed out the door.

_Well, that went well…_

**A/N: I know, that chapter was really slow. I wanted to get it out of the way before I started into things, just to sort of clarify the situation. I know it was a little cryptic but since all of my fics tend to be HaruhixTamaki I hope you get it. Anyhow, hopefully I'll be updating more often. Or atleast faster than three months. grins sheepishly sorry about that. Review please! Constructive criticism is welcome as well! (I'd prefer no outright flaming however.)**


	4. Snakes and Ladders

TThat idiot… he was just sitting there wasting away while everyone boiled over her choice. How anyone could be so blind, even Tamaki, no one knew. But she'd made her choice. It was her decision. Who did they think they were, to try to interfere…right?

But…the human mind plays tricks on us, does it not? And if fate truly wanted them to be together…then…no matter what they did, it wouldn't matter, right? So…what was stopping them? Any of them? It certainly wasn't Kyouya's conscience…nor Hikaru's lack of will. It wasn't that any of them weren't capable… they were hosts for heaven's sake. They'd lured millions of girls into the traps of their charming smiles and beguiling words. So what was the problem?

Or maybe Kaoru was the only one not doing anything about it.

"It's always been just the two of us," he murmured, looking down at his sleeping brother. He'd gotten bored of watching Kaoru read and had fallen asleep with his head in his lap. Hikaru stirred but remained otherwise blind to his twin's musings. "Can we learn …maybe…to share?"

* * *

"That fool…" growled Kyouya angrily. He was typing furiously away at his laptop, his glasses glinting in the glow of the screen. How could anyone be so blind?

But then again, it was Tamaki. And Kyouya wasn't putting anything past that blond idiot. If Tamaki wasn't his friend he would have surely been added to the long list of missing persons that the police couldn't prove were linked to the Ootori family. Kyouya grumbled to himself, this being one of those rare occasions where he felt free to express himself. Then again, at this hour not even his sister was likely to invade his personal space. The Shadow King checked the clock and grimaced.

"No use crying over spilt milk," he murmured to himself, shutting off his pineapple computer and suppressing a yawn. He rubbed the back of his neck, aching from sitting at the computer for so long. All of a sudden however, the Shadow King sat up abruptly. The milk wasn't spilt just yet. And if Tamaki hadn't claimed her…

And the grin that began to spread across his pale delicate features would have set the host club running… because the Shadow King had a plan.

* * *

Kaoru watched as Haruhi rubbed her eyes sleepily. Kyouya had looked like death when he came into the club earlier, making the twins shudder. Tamaki, it seemed, did not plan on coming to the host club that day either. So they'd gone through the typical motions of the day, pleasing the customers as they always had. But though they might be able to fool the giggling hordes of girls, they couldn't fool each other. Everyone was worn out with the stress, Tamaki creating problems for everyone as they were forced to take on his customers. The worst part was trying to answer questions about him. Where was he? IF he was in school why wasn't he at the host club? What was wrong with him? Everyone knew. But no one was talking.

"I'm leaving," she announced with a yawn. There were circles under her eyes, as if she hadn't slept well. "See you all Monday."

"Bye!" called Huny-Senpai, waving a fork after her. No one else really bothered to respond. As soon as the last customer was gone, the life seemed to be sucked out of the room. It was as if the hosts had metaphorically collapsed into little heaps, with no more feeling than statues. The only people who looked relatively unaffected were Huny and Mori, and Mori was always stoic so Kaoru couldn't really determine whether that assessment was correct or not. He really just wanted to go home, but Hikaru seemed to be more comfortable remaining in the position that they'd been in when they'd been entertaining; leaning on his brother. He was pretty sure he was asleep again. Everyone was exhausted… it was as if without Tamaki's incessant optimism there was no light in the club… no life. It was as if without Haruhi being strong as she always was, unaffected by the drama of the host club, they all fell apart as well. And Kaoru was certainly not liking the feeling of falling apart… especially since Hikaru seemed to be falling apart a lot faster than he was. He looked up then as a shadow fell over him. Kyouya was looking down at him, and as he looked around he realized Huny had finished his cake and left. Hikaru moved against his shoulder as they both looked up at the Shadow King.

_I guess he wasn't asleep after all…_

"I have a little game for you two," he said, his smirk making the twins shudder simultaneously.

"And who would we be playing against?" asked Hikaru, getting up and stretching, a yawn masking his interest; the could use a little fun. It was far too depressing around here otherwise.

"Me," responded the Shadow King. The twins' faces blanched as the Shadow King's smirk widened. "And the prize is…

**A/N: Well, I guess it's obvious what he's going to say, right? Betcha hate me now don't you? I'm sorry I haven't updated in sooo long . Don't kill me? I've just been really busy and just… yeah. I'm sorry… forgive me?**

**Anyhow, comment pls!!**


	5. Phase One: Jealousy

Haruhi looked up from her textbook in confusion as the doorbell rang. Her father had left less than ten minutes ago… there was no way he'd be back. She yawned loudly and marked her page before getting up.

"Coming!" she called, shuffling her feet to the door. She looked outside and groaned. It was the twins, and although she couldn't see, the whole host club was probably behind them. She remembered the first time the host club had visited her house…

"That was a disaster," she mumbled. But a part of her couldn't help giggling at remembering her father throw Tamaki against the wall after… he'd fallen…

_"My lord… so you finally laid your hands on Haruhi?" the twins looked down at the blond prince under their feet. They turned to Haruhi's father. _

_"We're sorry. This guy is a total womanizer. He's a pheromone machine and his amount of women he's played is higher than the number of capillary vessels in his body," said the twins in unison, standing on top of the beaten Tamaki_

_"Played?" her father's brow twitched. Tamaki jumped up, his expressing beyond indignant._

_"That's wrong! I never played anyone! I- I seriously…" The twins spun around, their eyes wide in shock, confusing Haruhi. But their next statement had confused her even more._

_"Is he going to confess?" they mumbled almost inaudibly to each other._

_"…seriously take care of your daughter as my own!" cried Tamaki, throwing himself, voluntarily this time, at Ranka's feet. And she remembered she'd felt slightly disappointed… much to her further confusion._

"Haruhi!! Are you home?" called the twins. She blinked out of her reverie and opened the door.

"Ah… hai. What do you want? There was no report of thunderstorms today on the ne- oh… you're alone?" She was certainly confused now…

"Hai! We've been assigned to dress you! We're going to the park!" they cried together, ushering her inside, not really trying very hard to dress her because they knew they wouldn't get to in the end She took the girly dress and sighed, walking into the bedroom and closing the door. As she dressed a thought hit her; no one but Tamaki insisted she got dressed as a girl for these occasions.

"Is… is Senpai coming too?" she asked nonchalantly, as if it didn't matter to her at all. There was a strange sort of noise on the other side of the door, and what she thought was whispering.

"No," said Hikaru, not quite managing to sound disinterested. Haruhi bit her lip and shrugged the dress on.

"Ah… I see. So then I assume this was your idea?" she asked, coming out. The twins grinned and each took an elbow.

"Of course!" they chorused.

"So much for my homework…" she grumbled.

* * *

The park was a place they'd only been to once, without much happening. They'd hosted a picnic for their customers, and everyone had gone home tired. No exploring or climbing trees, no playing tag or skinning knees. It was one of the few host club events Kyouya could truthfully say was nice and quietly peaceful. It was probably the only event he could say he relaxed at. He watched as the twins came out and shoved Haruhi into the limo in front of him. Soon the three cars set off for the park, and Kyouya closed the window between the driver and him as he pulled out his cell phone. Unfortunately, he didn't have to dial because Tamaki had taken the liberty of making himself speed dial number one.

_Brrrring. Brrrrring. Brrrrrrring…_

"…five… six…" counted Kyouya with annoyance. Tamaki always answered his phone…

"Hai?" mumbled a sleepy voice on the other end.

"You're sleeping? You of all people are sleeping at this hour?" he said into the phone, amused and perturbed at the same time. But he only let a mocking tone get through the phone.

"Kyouya!" said the Blond Prince, seemingly shocked. "Wha… what are you calling me about?"

"Oh… nothing. I was just telling you that we're going to the park and I wanted to make sure I don't have you screaming at me that I didn't bring you back anything…" he said nonchalantly. There was a muffled sound on the other end.

"…but… but… why didn't mommy invite daddy!!" he wailed. Kyouya smirked. That was the Tamaki they all knew.

"You're sick aren't you? We're losing enough money as it is with you not coming to the club. If you managed to get anyone else sick the results would be catastrophic… and you wouldn't want me to have to close the club, now would you?" he asked using his business voice, honey laced with poison undetectable to all but him. He listened as Tamaki stuttered on the other end, not even bothering to rethink the lame excuse for calling him that Kyouya had supplied him with… just as he knew he wouldn't.

"Well? Do you want anything?" he prompted, letting a hint of annoyance creep into his voice. Tamaki stopped stuttering and was silent for a few moments.

"No…" he said. Kyouya waited… Tamaki wasn't finished.

"Well, goodbye then," he said after a few moments.

"Wait… Is Haruhi with you?"

"She's coming yes, but she's riding with the twins. You could call their cell phones if you want, bu-"

"YOU LET HARUHI RIDE WITH THOSE DELINQUENTS?" he shrieked into the phone. Kyouya had been ready, and held the phone a few inches form his ear.

"Why not? Goodbye Tamaki," he said, and closed the phone with a click. He smirked; he'd be sure to take lots of pictures, and post them on the website. If he knew anything about Tamaki he'd be trying to keep up with his precious club in some way, even though he was trying to avoid Haruhi. And the only way he could do so without letting the others know what he was up to was the website. Oh, the photo gallery was sure to be full of pictures of the twins playing with their precious toy. And not only would they succeed in making Tamaki squirm, they'd have the added bonus of making a ton of money.

"And my plan proceeds perfectly," he murmured to himself with a grin.

* * *

Tamaki sat at his computer, something he very rarely did except for schoolwork, and ranted.

"Look at those infidels! Their hands all over my precious da-" he paused, beginning to feel confused again, but then looked at the picture and shoved all other thoughts from his mind, continuing "Haruhi! How dare they! And how could mother do such a thing! Letting them do that! Posting the pictures! What if darling Haruhi's identity is exposed! How could he do such a thing! When I get my hands on them I'll-"

"That's quite enough of that. It's late and the whole manor is trying to sleep," reprimanded Shima, who now stood in the doorway. Tamaki winced as he looked at the computer screen. It was midnight.

"Ah… yes… I am very sorry… goodnight."

"You had better be sorry. Tomorrow I must teach you more manners! You seem to have forgotten the last lesson!" she announced. Tamaki shuddered as she left, her robe fluttering as the door all but slammed.

"Maybe I should go to the club on Monday…" he mumbled as he turned back to the computer where Haruhi's chocolate brown eyes threatened to swallow him whole.

"Or perhaps… I am not well enough," he said, and shut the computer with a snap.

A/N: Now things will begin to get more interesting… Keep reading! And comment pls!


	6. Soft Stone Heart

"I don't suppose you'd like to explain to me what you're doing here if you're sick?" mumbled a still-sleepy Kyouya who had been rudely awoken by wide familiar violet eyes and a mop of messy blond hair. Clothed in no more than a pair of black pants, he picked up his glasses from his bedside table and fixed them on the bridge of his nose, rubbing his temples with annoyance.

"Um… yes, well, I'm feeling better today!" announced Tamaki with a nervous grin. "And… and…"

"You honestly expect me to believe such a shoddily fabricated story? Do not insult me Tamaki, and do not presume to test me," he said calmly, standing and meandering over to his bathroom. Tamaki watched as the light flicked on and the door closed till light spilled out of only two inches of space. "Especially when you have woken me at such an ungodly hour. It's one thing when you some here before school and I actually have obligations. It is quite another when you disturb those very few hours when I am actually able to rest. If you've come here to waste my time I will not hesitate to make sure it is the last time you ever do so."

Tamaki gulped, a shiver running through his body involuntarily. "Sh… shoddily crafted? What story?"

The water ran in the bathroom as Kyouya washed up and came out, the hair around his face dripping a bit from washing his face. He withdrew a black tank out of a drawer somewhere and pulled it on, then turned to face his blond friend with a raised eyebrow.

"You have yet to have been sick in all your days at Ouran. And even if you _were _really sick, then explain to me why you continue to be in classes? Of course, your customers would be willing to believe anything you sprout. But I am not a customer, and frankly I'm insulted that you think I would fall for such idiocy," drawled Kyouya, leaning against his armoire. "So, tono. Would you like to tell me the real reason you've been neglecting you own club?"

Tamaki sighed and leaned back in the chair he had placed himself in, rubbing the back of his neck. He stared at some spot behind Kyouya on the wall, as if watching a television screen. All pretending aside, Tamaki was not as dense as everyone thought he was. His insight on life was far deeper and meaningful than anything than any idiot could sprout; all the host club members knew that. And it was not pure dumb luck that got him ranked second every single time the results came in for the school terms. No, Tamaki was rather intelligent…

He just lacked anything resembling common sense.

But life had a way of knocking sense into people, and that was exactly what it seemed to have attempted to do to the blond king. But all life had succeeded in doing was confusing the poor boy. Tamaki was smart; he knew that fathers didn't dream about marrying their daughters. All that time he'd imagined Haruhi in a wedding dress he thought he was just looking forward to that point at which she'd find someone who could love her as much as he did. Someone to keep her safe just like he did, and hold her when the storms came, real or metaphorical. But carrying her out of the water, he'd finally seen the face of the groom waiting for her at the altar, the man carrying her across the threshold of her wedding suite. And it was him. He was the one giving her that first dance, he was the one sharing the cake. He was the one kissing her as the world faded around them. And fathers… fathers didn't do that to their children. So if he didn't think of Haruhi as a daughter… if that was really… but, he must be wrong. It was like his world had been shattered, like someone had ripped this belief from somewhere inside his chest. And now all that was there was a gaping hole, letting him breathe properly for the first time in his life. It was like a bird in a cage being freed and realizing it had never learned to fly. And Tamaki… Tamaki was lost, stuck on the ground fluttering helplessly.

"I'm not… I'm not sick, Kyouya. Or at least, the doctors tell me so. But… it hurts…" he said quietly, his voice almost inaudible in the darkness of Kyouya's bedroom.

"What hurts?" said Kyouya, unfeelingly blunt. "You're being absurd."

Tamaki's head snapped up, his eyes pleading with this desperation that Kyouya had never seen in them before. And even Kyouya, with his supposed stone heart, started at the depth of anguish that he saw in his best friend's violet eyes. "I don't know!" he cried, shaking with the fervor of his confusion. His blond hair tembled with every shuddering breath he took. He put a revert hand to his chest. "Here! There's… there's something… it's been ripped out. And it's good, I know it is, because it's like I can breathe for the first time. But it's painful, so painful… Kyouya, please. What's wrong with me? Why does it hurt? Why when I look at Haruhi is she not my daughter? You're her mother! You, who's so smart! You who knows everything about everyone! So please Kyouya, look into that file of mine and tell me what's wrong. Because I don't know. I don't know what hurts."

The room was silent; nothing but Tamaki's labored breathing sounding in the room. Slate grey eyes with onyx spikes stared into endless violet pools, questing for something in Tamaki that he could use. Something to convince himself to do this, to purposely get between something that was so obviously destined even to someone who's goal in life was to alter fate. Kyouya was never sentimental… or so he would like everyone to believe. But when it came to the people he cared about somewhere deep down inside where he tried to hide it, especially when it came to Tamaki, something inside of him couldn't hold up. Something inside of him cracked. And that was the last thing he wanted to happen. This was the last place he wanted to give in, the last place where he wanted to admit he could never possibly win. But it was too late for that. Because then Tamaki pulled out his huge amethyst ax and sliced Kyouya's stone-heart's shell right in two as his eyes began to glisten with what might be mistaken for tears.

_Oh, what do I care for the girl?_ he thought with resignation. _I don't care for anyone…_

_No, that's not true. You do-_

_Stop it. This arguing with yourself is foolish. But a game is not really a fair game if one of the players is at as much of a disadvantage as he is right now. And I refuse to win this game any other way than fair._

"Tamaki, that's because Haruhi is not her daughter and you are not her father," Kyouya growled finally. Tamaki looked up at him.

"Yes, but I am _like_-"

"You're missing my point, Tamaki. And I refuse to repeat myself. So until you figure it out, I want you to get out of my room, and preferably out of my house, and maybe I might get to bed early."

"But-"

"Get… out," said Kyouya, and his voice dripped with such malice that Tamaki, shivereing, all but ran from the room, slamming the door closed behind him. Kyouya didn't bother to move his eyes from the seat where his best friend had previously sat, but instead chose to close his eyes and pinch the bridge of his nose. It was eight thirty, and already Tamaki had succeeded in giving him a migraine.

* * *

**A/N: Awww… Kyouya, you're still my favorite character!! R and R pls! Suggestions? What do you think should happen? What do you think will happen?**

**I think I actually like this story…**


	7. Unconscious

Tamaki stumbled through Kyouya's house and was silent all the way home. He pulled off his clothes in a daze and found a pair of white pajama pants, falling onto his bed as if in a dream. Lost in his thoughts, he lay there for hours. And he was still lying there when Shima silently opened on the door on Sunday morning to peek in. She stared at him for a few moments, his eyes wide, bags under his crystalline violet eyes, and with s sigh closed the door behind her. Perhaps it was not her place, but it would be a good idea to call that Haruhi girl right about now. Because at this rate, the young master was likely to really get sick.

But Tamaki wasn't sick. And he wasn't unintelligent. He was just very, very dense. And his mind had been running around in circles for the past few hours, always moving back to the same exact question. And the truth was, he didn't have an answer.

…_not my daughter… not my daughter… not my daughter… what did he mean? Of course she's not really my daughter. That was established a long time ago. But… what was he trying to say? He doesn't want to be mother anymore? I should not think of her as a daughter? Then what should I think of her as?_

Tamaki paused. This was new. This was a train of thought he could follow. He shoved a tired hand through limp blond locks and bit his lip, deep in thought.

_Well, if I don't think of her as my daughter… _he began again, trying to find some deeper meaning in this train of thought. Trying to link it so something. Trying so hard to stop the aching somewhere deep beyond the reach or comprehension of his consciousness.

…_and I have those hallucinations, _he continued, knowing full well that such situations were not appropriate for daughters and fathers…

…_then that would make her…_

Tamaki sat up abruptly, jumping out of bed, then instantly regretted it as the room began to spin, and he was spiraling down… down… darkness…

"Haruhi…" he whispered as he hit the richly carpeted floor with a thud.

* * *

"Hello?" mumbled Haruhi, yawning. She should have gotten more sleep…

"Miss Fujioka?"

"Um… yes?" she asked yawning again, confusion entering her voice.

"Your presence is recommended at the Suoh residence as soon as possible."

"What?" Haruhi sat up abruptly, her eyes widening. "Did Senpai ask for me? Is everything alright? What do you mean _recommended_?"

"Master Tamaki is… unwell, and it was decided that you were the only person who might cure this particular ailment. It is recommended that you come as soon as possible."

"Wait, what? Hello?" Haruhi sighed as the line went dead, and proceeded to attempt to convince her tired body to rise from her sheets. "Well at least I slept tonight… some wake up call that was…"

* * *

Haruhi looked up at the towering gates to the Suoh mansion, her heart fluttering faintly. If she'd understood who she suspected to be Shima then Tamaki didn't know she was here. But… surely there would be no reason for her to call unless it was an emergency… right? She sighed and rang the bell, the large golden and black gates swinging open almost immediately. But Haruhi found that she had nothing to worry about, for there in from of her sat three limos. And none of them were from the Suoh's arsenal of long black cars. She sighed with relief and called out to the only host still outside of the building, on the phone as was to be expected.

"Kyouya! What's happened to Senpai?" she asked, jogging over. He looked up, the sun glinting off of his glasses, mumbling something into the phone and closing it.

"Apparently tono managed to get himself truly sick. He collapsed in his room. The maids found him about half and hour ago. No one knows when he collapsed," said Kyouya, slipping his phone into his pocket. He watched, face expressionless, as Haruhi's face paled ever so slightly.

"Wha-… where-… is he alright?" she stuttered. Kyouya shrugged.

"See for yourself," he said. Haruhi nodded, but was surprised when he uncharacteristically put his arm around her shoulders and guided her through the Suoh mansion to a bedroom she had begun to know well. There Tamaki lay, looking deathly pale, blond hair askew across his pillow. Haruhi made a soft sound in her throat, but no one heard it save for Kyouya. His jaw tightened slightly, but he said nothing. Instead he led her over to the bed where the host club was gathered, staring down at their sleeping lord.

"Tama-chan's never been this sick before," murmured Huni with consternation.

"Has Milord actually ever been sick?" asked the twins. Kyouya adjusted his glasses.

"Not that I can recall…" he responded, his grey-black eyes fixed on his violet-eyed best friend.

"Hm," said Mori in agreement. Haruhi looked across the bed and realized he was looking at her. He cleared his throat slightly, but Haruhi couldn't discern his meaning, which was not something that happened often. But, unseen to the slim brunette, Huni was nodding at his cousin.

"What does Tama-chan have?" he asked innocently, turning to Haruhi and, incidentally, Kyouya, who was still standing close to her, although he had taken his arm from her shoulders. Haruhi shrugged, barely sparing Huni a glance as she stared at the unconscious Tamaki. But Kyouya was quite aware of the senior's gaze and shifted uncomfortably, adjusting his glasses again. "Do _you _know, Kyo-chan?" Huni was pressuring him, pushing his luck; this he knew. But Kyouya was in no mood to snap at Huni, so he did was he always did.

"He mentioned something abut his chest…" he said, smoothly stepping aside of the question as if he was avoiding a mess on the sidewalk. Huni pouted slightly but said nothing.

"A chest cold wouldn't make someone faint…" murmured Haruhi. The room turned to look at her. "Has a doctor seen him yet?"

"He's on his way. His father only wanted the best for his son, so someone is coming that he asked for specifically. His father is in a meeting right now. He wanted to come here immediately, but I convinced him that we could handle it. Rushing out of a meeting to watch your son lie unconscious in bed is meritless," said Kyouya. Haruhi sighed; merits. Was that all the Shadow King could think of? "Especially when there are others without obligations willing to sit with him instead."

Or perhaps not. Haruhi looked at the Shadow King, and realized that, as usual, it was all a façade. She hadn't known it was possible for someone so pale skinned to get any whiter, but his face was just as colorless as hers was. Kyouya had always been pale, the stark contrast to his hair making him look like some prince of the night. But now, he simply looked like something out of a horror movie, skin deathly pale. Haruhi would have thought that he was sick too.

"I'm… I'm sure Senpai will be alright…" she mumbled quietly so that only he would hear. He turned and looked down at her sharply, then nodded curtly. "Of course he will." He let no trace of worry enter his voice, but Haruhi still looked at him with pity.

_Is it that easy to see through me right now? Was it that obvious to see my guilt? _he wondered. _If I hadn't… I know the baka. He must have stayed up all night, with those raccoon eyes. Worrying about what I'd said. If I hadn't said anything then he wouldn't be sick and we might actually have a chance…_

He looked up at the twins, watching as they whispered to each other. Every so often they would glance at the Host King, Kaoru looking distraught. Hikaru looked torn, but from across the oversized bed he couldn't catch a word of what they were saying. Mori was too busy looking confusedly at Huni to notice the drama taking place beside him. Suddenly Kaoru made a noise in his throat and stormed out of the room. Hikaru twitched for several moments, wanting to follow, then turned around and stared at Tamaki with a stormy look, avoiding the eyes of the other hosts.

The tension was suffocating and Haruhi wanted to scream, cry, do anything except stare numbly at Tamaki and wonder if it was her fault. What was happening to them? What happened to the times when they (almost) all got along and their lives were laughter and fun? She'd mocked them for their luxurious lives, but truthfully she loved having no cares. She was sucked into this kalopsia when she was with them. But now all she felt was tense and angry, hurt and confused. She just wanted it to stop.

So she was very relieved when a knock on the door startled them all out of their various reveries. The doctor stepped in and cleared his throat.

"I'm sorry, but only one of you can be with him at a time while I work…" he murmured with regret, pitying the little group gathered around their friend. Hikaru nodded and left immediately, Huni and Mori following. Haruhi looked at the shock-stricken Kyouya, far too proud to admit he cared for tono, too proud to say that tono was his best friend. He was too proud to admit that he, who had known Tamaki the longest and knew him the best, wanted to stay even more than she did. He opened his mouth to tell the doctor he was leaving, but Haruhi beat him to it.

"I… I would like to wait outside," she murmured. He looked at her suspiciously. "I… I don't want to watch."

Kyouya seemed pleased with this excuse, and nodded to her. "I suppose I will stay then."

Haruhi beamed at him. "Thank you Kyouya-Senpai," she said, turning to leave. As she pulled the door shut she cleared her throat, making Kyouya turn to her again.

"Senpai will be fine," she said again, and closed the door quietly.

* * *

**A/N: Ok, I know in the manga he's been sick once but this is based on the anime so… yeah. Now, I'm sort of at a loss with what to do. I don't want to end this so quickly, but I simply had to do something with that comment Kyouya made. So if anyone has any suggestions, I'm open to them. But I have a vague (and sort of mean XD) plot in my head, so don't be too offended if I don't take anything. R&R please!**

**P.S. Unconscious... get it? Get it? Unconscious of feelings??**

**XD, sorry, corniest thing ever...**


	8. Mother of Pearl

Kaoru ran blindly through the Suoh mansion, the floor to ceiling windows and richly carpeted floors blurring before him as tears stung his cheeks. He didn't know where he was going. Of course, he pretty much had the layout of the Suoh mansion memorized, but he didn't want to know. He just wanted to be somewhere, anywhere but there. There where Haruhi was looking with such pain at Tono. There where Hikaru was looking with such pain at Haruhi. There where he wanted to scream because the two people he loved where distraught, and there was no way for him to be happy. Because his brother didn't understand why he was willing to sacrifice everything for him. Everything. Because Hikaru couldn't see that he still loved him. And words were ringing in his ears, every single one a stab to the heart.

"_Look at her face, Hikaru. It's over. Kyouya-Senpai was wrong for once in his life. Tono hasn't claimed her yet, true. But look at her face. She's his already, by her own choice. Claimed or not."_

_Hikaru's eye's narrowed. "What are you talking about? You said we were in this together! You said that we could do this together!" he hissed looking around to make sure no one was listening. That no one could hear. _

"_I refuse to force her if she doesn't want to," he said, his tone reasoning. Pleading. "Look at her. _Look _at her! Look at the pain in her face, look at how pale she is! Are you blind?_

"_She could change her mind!" Hikaru whispered forcefully, trying to convince himself more than he was Kaoru. "There's still a chance! I'm not giving up so quickly!"_

"_And what about Tono? What about all he's done for us? You wouldn't even know Haruhi if it wasn't for him. You wouldn't know anyone but me. And then we-"Kaoru stopped himself just in time. "Hikaru, don't do this. You'll just end up hurting everyone. Including yourself. Let it be. If you love something let it go."_

"_Don't tell me what to do Kaoru!" he snarled, so obviously angry that he caught the attention of Kyouya. Kaoru stared at him in shock, his eyes shining with what might be mistaken for tears. But Hikaru wasn't in the mood to notice his twin's distraught expression. He was too busy hissing and snarling, trying not to scream at him. "I am not a child and you are not my superior. I can make my own decisions. I thought you were the one I could always count on. Together from birth. Three minutes apart. Have you forgotten? Will you abandon me now?"_

"_I'm not abandoning you," he whispered, a single tear falling from his eye. Hikaru started in shock as he saw it fall, his hand instinctively reaching to brush its trail away from his twin's face. But Kaoru knocked his hand away, his golden eyes blazing with emotions that Hikaru couldn't recognize, even in what might as well have been his own face. "No Hikaru. I'm afraid you have it all wrong. You're the one abandoning me." And then he bolted, his spine prickling with the eyes he knew were following him. _

Kaoru turned another corner and found himself at a balcony, the wide view showing the back of the Suoh mansion. A large garden spread wide across the grounds, filled with imported brightly colored trees and hedge mazes. Kaoru eyed the maze thoughtfully.

"Hmm…" he murmured. "Left, third left… right… second left, right, fourth right…" He pulled up his sleeve and traced a map on the inside of his arm with a marker. Then, after checking, he headed down the curving stairs on either end of the balcony and headed hesitantly into the maze.

_You're the one abandoning me…_

A sob sounded in the back of his throat as he broke into a run, new tears trailing down his soft pale cheeks.

* * *

"Takashi, he went left!" called Huni from atop the taller senior's shoulders. Mori obediently jogged around the corner and slowed as they reached the balcony just as a flicker of red hair disappeared into the hedge maze. "Aw… we lost him." Huni pouted as he put a forefinger to his lip in thought. Mori was silent as he studied the maze, his dark eyes tracing through for the most likely path the younger twin would take. He soon found his way to the center and began to head down the steps.

"Takashi? What are you doing?" he asked, tilting his head around to try and look him in the eye.

"Following…" he said, heading into the maze. Huni grinned.

"And on!" he said, pointing. "Just, quietly. We don't want him to know we're here yet, ne Takashi?"

"Hm…" as all the response he got. But that was okay; Huni was used to his cousin's lack of words, and he knew what that meant.

* * *

"So, Hikaru… what happened with Kaoru?" asked Haruhi, no malice at all intended. She was tired of standing there in awkward silence; they'd been there for at least ten minutes. The seniors had wanted to help, but had made the mistake of leaving Haruhi with Hikaru. And she was a little worried.

Or maybe she was simply trying to make conversation and keep her mind off of Tamaki.

Hikaru started, then continued to look at the floor. "Nothing," he mumbled, barely audible. He was leaned against the wall, headphones hung around his neck, a dark cloud nearly visibly hovering above his head. Haruhi tilted her head to the side and crossed her arms.

"It didn't look like nothing," she pointed out reasonably. Hikaru's jaw tensed.

"Just, stay out of it. It's not your business," he snapped. Haruhi jerked back, startled by the anger in his voice. She swallowed.

"Oh… alright…" she murmured, leaning against the wall. The hurt in her voice was barely detectable, but Hikaru was over sensitive to anything related to her at the moment. He grumbled something inaudible. "What?"

"We got into a fight, alright?" he snarled. Haruhi looked at him.

"Well… obviously…" she said. "About what?"

"I… I can't tell you," he said quietly. Haruhi nodded slowly. "But… well, Kaoru and I want something. But… well, he says it belongs to someone else."

"Does it?" asked Haruhi.

"Well… the person never said it was theirs…" he said, trailing off.

"Well, is it obviously theirs? Would they have to claim it for it to be theirs?" she asked, her lawyer side considering the laws of property. Hikaru winced.

"That was what the argument was about. He said that it was. I said that it wasn't."

"Oh…" she said quietly. There was silence for a while. Hikaru shifted uncomfortably.

"Well…" she began hesitantly, "Kaoru has more of a sense about these things than you do…" She paused as Hikaru cleared his throat uneasily.

"But… did you think maybe… he doesn't want it as much as you do?"

Hikaru's eyes widened and his head shot up.

"What?"

* * *

Kyouya watched as the doctor pulled back the sheets and pressed various instruments to Tamaki's bare chest. His face was calm but his arms were crossed tightly and his fingers were twitching. The room began to blur as he remembered the first time he'd met Tamaki… he'd moved the whole family to tears with that piece……

"_Are you succeeding the Ootori family, Kyouya?"_

Is he _trying_to pick a fight??_ he wondered. But he smiled again. "Of course not.You saw it. I have two brothers."_

_Kyouya paused and looked away from Tamaki, the situation he'd been trapped in since birth haunting him once again. It was always in his thoughts. " I'll be working under my two brothers…"_

"_Oh, I didn't expect that."_

"_Oh-"_

"_I thought you were a much more ambitious person… because I can see in your eyes that you hate your current situation, right?" Kyouya's eyes widened in shock and anger. "You sure give up easily…"_

"_It's not an issue of giving up or not giving up…" Kyouya's voice was steadily rising in pressure, fists tightening even as Tamaki's eyes were widening in confusion. And when he spoke again he was truly snarling. "That's just the way it is. But I guess someone like you who is automatically going to succeed his family couldn't understand."_

"_Eh?" asked Tamaki, obviously confused now. The bemused expression in his face was obvious even to Kyouya in his anger, and he immediately reproached himself._

Shit…_ he thought. But Tamaki was still looking at him confused._

"_It's not decided that I'll succeed the Suoh Family…" Kyouya's face straightened into a mask of surprise. "My grandmother hates me. So, at this rate, it's not likely that I will succeed the family at all. It's like a trial period. Didn't I tell you?"_

_Kyouya stared at the young man for a few moments, then looked at the floor in thought. And all this time he'd thought…_

"_But just think about it. Although I'm not completely uninteresting in my father's work, I've got wonderful looks. I was born to be noticed…"_

_Kyouya watched him, dumbfounded, as he struck a dramatic pose to display his beauty. And all the respect and confusion that had seemingly been placed in front of him for this blonde boy was washed away has he began to ramble about being a scientist, or making a great zoo… until Kyouya couldn't take it anymore. Who was he to be saying all that crap? What was life to him? Child's play?_

"_Screw you!" he barked angrily, overturning the coffee table in one fell swoop. Sugar cubes bounced across the rich carpeting as teacups clattered to the ground. Coffee began to slowly seep into the carpeting as the cups glistened grotesquely in the sun streaming through the windows behind them like some trashy light show in a commoner's carnival. It would have been beautiful, the sugar catching the light and springing rainbows into itself, had Kyouya not pinned Tamaki to the floor, screaming all the pent up emotions held deep down inside of him for so long… so long…_

"_What are you saying all that crap for? How can you talk about giving up easily?! You're nothing like me! You have a chance to be the top if you try! So why don't you try?! Why don't you take advantage of the situation, the place that is your birthright?!" And finally, finally, Kyouya was screaming for all he was worth. Finally Kyouya was free to let himself out. He was free to let all the emotion pour out. And here and now he was giving it all he had, shaking Tamaki like a rag doll and watching with sick fascination as blonde locks thrashed beneath him like golden branches in the autumn storms. And that was what Tamaki saw. Because Tamaki was one of the few people who could read Kyouya's slate grey, his storm gray eyes. And he saw the roiling emotions there displayed like pictures on a movie screen. "What… what… what in the world are you??"_

You're just an arrogant imbecile! How are you able to understand me?_ It was echoing inside his head. Inside his soul. The last screams of his rant still bouncing off the walls of the room, hitting him like bullets… _What have I done…

That's right… I have the confidence that I won't lose out to my brothers ability-wise. But… just because I'm the third son… there will always be frustration from having to remain in this frame. I've always…

"_What?" All the childishness was gone from the young blonde's voice, now replaced with the tone of one who has wisdom beyond his years. "You're the one who's not trying." Kyouya's face relaxed into shock as he loosened his grip on Tamaki's collar. _

"_If you want to surpass your brothers then do it. The one that's backing off and not doing anything… is you."_

_Kyouya's eyes widened as a familiar image came to him; it was the way he had always thought of his life. It was a painting, commissioned to be within a certain frame. But with Tamaki's words he saw a splattering of color on the wall-_

"_By the way Kyouya," said Tamaki, his face totally relaxed and back to childishness, "where's the kotatsu? To be honest, I thought you'd have had it set up already, and that's why I came over."_

_Kyouya couldn't help it. He smirked, letting go of Tamaki's all together as an unfamiliar sensation stirred in his chest, tickled his sides. It was something he did so little that it was as if a dream to begin again. But soom, roiling up form his stomach cam laughter. Bales of it, until his sides were shaking and his whole body trembled. And it felt wonderful. Yes, that day turned out to be a very refreshing day indeed. And Tamaki watched, still under the dark-haired boy, as he threw his head back and barked out rich, deep laughter like he hadn't in a very long time._

"_What?" he asked finally. "What's so funny? Let me guess," he said, his face contorting into an 'I figured you out, the joke's on me' look, "you prepared it already, and you're hiding it from me!"_

_And all of sudden Kyouya was brought back to reality with a snap. "Don't get ahead of yourself," he said, slamming his fist down onto the baka's head. But inside he was still laughing. "Kotatsus are only used in winter. If you want to sit inside one, wait until then," he said, letting a small smirk linger on delicate lips, "you idiot amongst idiots."_

_Tamaki looked up at him as if he had been pole-axed, rubbing the top of his head. And his face was that of one who'd come across a great realization. "Ooooh… that's a villain's smirk." He grinned. "So that's your true form" And Kyouya? Kyouya was still smirking._

_And there on the floor, the paints had been scattered across the carpet, the brush tossed to the side without soncequence. For there, enveloping the whole wall, was a masterpiece of epic proportions, a huge flower blossoming for all to see. All Kyouya had needed was a little watter. A little love. A little bit of blonde sunshine._

Kyouya shook his head, filled with spinning bluish tinged roses and broken gold picture frames. The doctor was packing up his bag, and Kyouya's heart jumped as he wondered; had he been speaking to him all that time and he hadn't heard? He must really be becoming like Tamaki.

"He'll be fine. He just fainted from fatigue. He shouldn't have gotten out of bed. It's also obvious to me he also got no sleep last night. But I wouldn't recommend any pills just yet. As long as he gets lots of fluids and rest he should be alright. It just looks like a case of the common cold mixed with a little insomnia." He closed his bag with a snap and smiled at Kyouya. "You kids these days think you're invincible. If he knew he was sick why'd he go to school? No, he's got to stay home until those bags under his eyes disappear and he can walk in a straight line all the way down this long hallway out here. Got it? You tell his folks that, alright young man?"

"Yes, doctor. I'll remember," said Kyouya, absently opening the door for him and giving him a host-club smile. The man beamed back.

"And tell them if they need anything else to call me."

"I will."

"You take care of yourself then," he said, and left with the waiting maid. Kyouya watched the man go absently, not noticing the look of shock that Hikaru had on his face or the position he was in until he repeated himself.

"What?" he said again, but more to himself than Haruhi. Kyouya was broken out of his reverie completely then, and turned to look at the two younger members of the club.

"Where is Mori-Senpai and Huni-Senpai?" he asked, gracefully leaving out the third name he knew that Hikaru did not want to hear. Hikaru spun around and Haruhi looked up at him.

"I don't know. They were gone when I came out…" said Haruhi. Hikaru shrugged in response to Kyouya's questioning gaze.

"Wonderful…" he muttered sarcastically. These were the last people on Earth that Kyouya wanted to be left alone with at the moment. But there was little choice, so he motioned them to move back into Tamaki's bedroom and pull up chairs. Where he'd gotten them from Haruhi couldn't say…

"Might as well wait here," he drawled, and fell silent. His eyes followed some scene on the wall behind her, and she was itching to look back and make sure nothing was there. But she knew that he was simply lost in his own thoughts.

_What can I make for dinner…_ she wondered, deciding to follow suit. But her thoughts were broken as Kyouya walked over to Tamaki's bed and placed his forearm against the wall at an angle, leaning his head on it and staring down at the host king. He looked so calm, weight supported on one leg. But his face was stormy and brooding.

_What's he thinking…_

* * *

_And even when he started the host club… that stupid idea. _

"_Kyouya, I've thought of a great idea!!" His yelling still echoes in my mind. _

_And he wouldn't leave me alone about it… _

"_Let's establish a club!!"_

_God, what an idiot he was. But… somehow… I felt like it was right. _

"_A club where our good lucks will be useful! A host club!!" I had shoved his head down to the floor with my foot._

"_Keep dreams in your sleep," I'd said, my face stoic. But he'd lay there under my foot laughing. And as I looked down at him I couldn't help but smirk back at him._

"_I've thought of the other members!!" And as he rattled on, I found myself slowly giving in to him. What harm could come from it, I asked myself. And I found no answer. Not because there was none, but because with Tono you can never see the bad. He blocks it all out from your minds until all you can hear is the good parts. _

_The more I listened to his rattle on the more absurd I thought he was being. But I thought… if I can share his world…I thought I would be able to see… this world, from a whole new perspective. And I remember looking down into my tea and seeing that stalk staring back up at me. Like a sign. And I thought, why not. And I smiled._

Kyouya's fist clenched, his muscle tensing under his mop of onyx hair.

_But now look at you. You're not laughing, are you Tono? You look like death. And although I always wanted myself to believe I would love to see you suffering, I would love to see you sick and out of my hair for a day… but..._

"I'm not laughing either…" he whispered. And as if he heard him in his sleep, Tamaki smiled. Kyouya gasped quietly, his eyes widening. Then his lips loosened a little. "You're right, my friend. Somehow, you always are about these things. Yes, mother-who-knows-everything. That's my name, isn't it? Well, mothers are supposed to worry about their families aren't they?"

And Kyouya laughed. He laughed as only Tamaki had let him laugh. And as Hikaru and Haruhi watched, they wondered if Tamaki was really awake and they were sharing secrets. Because Kyouya was only that open when he was being pried open by Tamaki, looking for that pearl of emotion that he'd only find deep in Kyouya's rainbow-hued shell.

**A/N: Huh? Where'd he get a marker from?? Well, this is anime. Who knows where they get anything from, lol. Btw, that was episode 24, for anyone who wants to know. And I don't own any of it, only the interpretation of what was said. I copied the dialogue from the anime. Any flashbacks I do not own. None. At all. Especially the one from before with Haruhi and Tamaki. So don't sue me, m'kay?**

**There was interest expressed in me showing more of Huni and Mori. I'm not quite sure what you guys meant by that, but I set them up for a bigger role in the next chap here. Any other (reasonable) suggestions will be taken. Just R&R!!**

**And just give a shout out if you love Kyouya the oyster. XD**


	9. The Selfish and SelfSacrificing

Kaoru took a deep breath, his sides burning painfully as he sat at the edge of the fountain. If he was in the mood to see he'd admit it was beautiful. Light gray marble ringed glistening clear blue water, the bottom of the pool covered in a mosaic of sparkling reflective blue tiles shining like aquamarines and sapphires. A glistening European-style dragon reared over the fountain, spraying water in a glistening arc over his mop of orange-red hair. The girls would have screamed at the very sight of him, the misting water making him glisten like a young god. The tears spilling from his cheeks would have only added to their delight.

_Sickening,_ he thought bitterly. Uncharacteristically. _Me and Hikaru always-_

His thoughts stopped with a nearly audible snap, and he tried to breathe deep. Tried, and failed miserably.

Broken sobs ripped from his throat again with a low guttural moan. "What's… wrong… with me?" His voice cracked with every word. He was far more prone to such sobbing than his twin. And when he did it was always Hikaru who wiped the tears away, long slender fingers always resting for too long-

"Ah!" he cried sharply, cutting his thoughts off. _Can't you go two seconds without thinking about him? About how wonderful it was when it was just the two of you… about how he used to hold you close and look into your eyes like you were the only person in the room, about how the host club was the perfect way to be able to be together like we were at home without bringing in strange looks, about how it was just an excuse…_

_God, you're pathetic._

He sighed brokenly and wrenched himself up, pacing with a ferocity that was so aberrantly violent that he looked like Hikaru in a fit. He _felt_ like Hikaru in a fit, which only made him more distraught. It wasn't right, it wasn't fair… life wasn't supposed to be so hard. It wasn't supposed to be like this. If he wanted to have a hard life he'd been born a commoner-

No, that was such spoiled thinking. That was Hikaru talking. And that was the truth of it. Hikaru was so much a part of him that he acted like him when he was angry, and Hikaru acted like him when he was nice. Like yin and yang, there was a little of the other in each. They belonged together like two pieces of a puzzle. And they would have been that way forever, if Tono had never bothered them…

_Hai, we would be all alone together. And that might have suited us fine, but what about everything we would have missed? What about everyone we've come to love, everyone that we've come to belong to as well? Tono introduced us to the world, surviving through everything we threw at him, how cruel we were. It's not right to do this to him, we owe him all we have now. All our friends and our relationships, our popularity… Everything that we know now. We owe it all to him. And Haruhi belongs with him, like the sun and the moon. They balance each other, his idiocy made up for in her competence. They're meant for each other. _

_It's natural to want the moon… doesn't mean you can have it. Yes… that's a good way to describe it. But Hikaru doesn't understand things when I try to explain them in prose. He's far too literal-minded to appreciate poetry. Natural…_

_Is this natural? I don't suppose most people think it is… people don't approve of such things. The very idea sickens most of the world. It's against the church or whatever… but if it never happened there wouldn't be a word for it. There would be no opposition to it because it wouldn't exist… and if God can control everything then he made us like this, right? It's not like we made a conscious decision to be "wrong". We loved each other as more than brothers as children. Children don't understand the biases of their cultures. So are we really wrong? Does it even matter? It's not we ever paid any attention to the rules, and when we did it was so that we'd know how to break them. _

_Of course it's pointless to think about because he doesn't love me that way anymore anyway…_

_Ah, the way he hurts us both suggests he doesn't even love me at all._

The very idea sent him into hysterics again, and he crumpled into a sobbing heap in the soft green grass, willing the earth to open up and swallow him whole.

* * *

Haruhi stared at Hikaru curiously, watching his body language. She remembered the first time he'd been without his twin; he'd gone into hysterics and began thrashing in the net, and ran off to find him at once. He didn't even give her a second thought. Then, Kaoru was pretty much fine as far as they knew, and he was simply overreacting. This time Kaoru had very obviously run off distraught, with tears streaming down his pale cheeks. So why was Hikaru just sitting here with a thoughtful yet brooding expressing on his face? He looked guilty and worried and angry, with more emotions flitting across his face than he really ever cared to show. But he was _just_ _sitting_ _there_. Like a statue. Hikaru never _just_ did anything. Never. The two of them were always the more theatric ones (with the exception of Tamaki), and they never just did nothing.

Truthfully, she wanted to go after him and see if he was okay. Kaoru and her understood each other a little better than she and Hikaru did. He was far easier to talk to… more level-headed. Of course, that made him all the more dangerous when he caught Hikaru's devious mood and decided to plot. Hikaru did it much more often, and his plots were for more evil, but the truth was Kaoru's ability to keep a clear head made him much better at it. Of course, it was rare that he did anything without his brother, so the distinction didn't really make much of a difference anyway. He was also nicer than his brother, which also didn't really help anyone to see it besides her. Not that anyone else really bothered to look anyway… with the exception of Tamaki of course. But then again he was a rule unto himself.

And here was the reason she hadn't gone off after Kaoru.

So, the million dollar question; was it her fault?

_And not just that the baka had been up all night, but the fact that he wasn't able to see his mother? He could have had her again, could have made everything right again…_

_Is it selfish of me to be happy? Or to go after him?_

_But everyone else went after him. It couln't have just been me. Everyone else is more important. Everyone else has known him longer and everyone else has been his friend for longer and everyone else…_

_Isn't female. And doesn't care for him… in the same way. _

It was getting very hard for her to keep still and not let the tension and frantic tone of her thoughts spill over onto her face. She wanted very much to leave, but she couldn't. It was like there was a physical connection to him stretching across the short distance to the bed, a large thick rubberband, and every step away from him pulled painfully at her heart.

_Ah, what's wrong with me?_ she groaned mentally. With a sigh she let her head fall back on the back of the chair. _I used to think my life was like a bad sitcom. Now it seems more like a soap-opera… _

_And I _hate_ soap operas._

* * *

**A/N: O.O I haven't written in a long time…**

**In my defense my computer broke and then when it finally got fixed I had no internet because we're fixing up the house… **

**I know I promised more of Huni and Mori, in this one, but I got too caught up in the drama. Anyhow, I promise they'll be in the next one! They'll have a nice long, dramatic, revealing, understanding scene with Kaoru and then with each other afterwards. So don't be angry… XD**

**Anyhow, we're coming closer to the close, so R&R and leave any last minute suggestions. Obviously when he wakes up this is going to only have a chapter or two left. There's about a week or two left until he's allowed back at school, so… **

**Suggestions, comments, & flames all welcome!**


	10. Misunderstood and Mangled Heart

Huni and Mori didn't say anything when they found Kaoru. This wasn't really anything new for Mori, but Huni was shocked into silence at the sight of Kaoru sobbing brokenly on the green grass. They'd expected to see him distraught and crying, but… this was beyond pity. This was almost… grotesque. The sight of his pale thin limbs trembling as low, almost guttural sounds broke from his throat was too much to bear. Huni stood silently at his cousin's side, blinking and clutching his pink, long-eared friend tightly to his chest. Finally, he looked up with a questioning expression at Mori. The stoic young man nodded once and scooped up Kaoru wordlessly, who gasped and stopped sobbing in shock. Huni stared up at the thin red-head in his cousin's arms with wide, concerned eyes.

"What's wrong, Kao-chan?"

The concern in Huni's eyes took the breath right out of him, and that was all it took. The sobs started again, but this time they were interrupted by the ramblings of his distraught mind, his confusion spilling over and blurring his words.

"It was never an act, never ever and it was always just an excuse and that's why we joined but then we got attached to everyone because everyone was so good to us especially tono and then Haruhi came and she messed everything up and it was all perfect before and now it's just wrong because it's not right even though it's really God's fault and Hikaru's really the wrong one because you can't have the moon!"

Huni looked at Kaoru as sat on the edge of the water fountain and sniffled, trying to make some sense of his words and connect them to the real problem. He looked at Mori, but his cousin's face was simply confused and worried as he looked at the sophomore in front of him.

"Nani?" he asked finally. Kaoru sniffed again, calming himself.

"The twincest," he said quietly, his voice almost devoid of shaking. Huni blinked.

"So?" he replied. It really wasn't surprising. Everyone suspected, after all. "That's not wrong if it makes you happy, ne Takashi?"

"Mhm," replied the tall senior. Huni beamed, then his face turned serious.

"Tama-chan taught me that. Don't worry about what other people think if it makes you happy."

Kaoru shrugged dispassionately, his moments of hysteria over. His body had stopped shaking completely now, and he seemed more like the typical cold, disinterested Kaoru they all knew to sit alongside his twin and dole out acerbic comments to the unsuspecting occasional victim. "Doesn't matter, because Hikaru doesn't really love me anymore anyway. He likes Haruhi now."

Oh. The moon.

"And she belongs with Tono… so he's wrong. But he won't listen to me because he doesn't love me anymore." He shrugged again. "Nothing I can do."

Huni tilted his head to the side and looked at Kaoru, but his hazel eyes remained locked on the marble he sat on. He and Mori looked at each other for a few moments, and the taller senior nodded slightly.

"No," said Mori. Kaoru looked up, startled. Mori hardly ever said anything, let alone a real word.

"What do you mean 'no'? What can I do?" he asked, his stoicism cracking. "Haruhi and Tono are like the sun and the moon. They belong together. And even though I guess I like her too, and I suppose it's natural to want the moon, you can't have it. You _shouldn't_ have it. And I love Hikaru more. So much more… than _I_ ever _should._ More than he will ever love me."

"You could tell him," Huni pointed out in his typical cute blunt way. Kaoru looked at him incredulously.

"You think he doesn't know how much I love him? That's not it at all. He just doesn't care anymore. Nothing has changed for me. How could he _not_ know that? We're twins. He knows. It just doesn't matter." His voice was full of desolate, heart-wrenching desperation now, his eyes again trained on the gray marble.

"Did he tell you it didn't matter?" asked Huni, his tone of voice unchangingly inquisitively cute and calm.

Kaoru shrugged. "He didn't have to. His actions speak volumes." He looked up at the short senior. "He sleeps on the opposite side of the bed now, you know that? He puts his hands behind his head and stares at the ceiling and takes all the covers, but he doesn't take up nearly the whole bed anymore. He stays as far away from me as possible."

Huni bit his lip, Usa-Chan still clutched in his child-like hands. Kaoru had the sudden urge to take the damn tattered bunny and rip it into pieces. Maybe Huni would kill him. It'd be almost as good as the earth swallowing him up… It'd be quick.

"Maybe he's thinking?" said Huni, but the doubt in his voice made it sound like a question. Kaoru snorted in response… like Hikaru. "I think you should talk to him."

"What will that accomplish?" asked Kaoru incredulously. _Besides hurting myself more._

Huni shrugged cutely, and it made Kaoru want to scream. How could he look like that when he was breaking into pieces inside? How could the world remain unchanged while he fell apart? But as much as he wanted to hate the seniors for interrupting his misery, for not leaving him to rot, he couldn't for the same exact reasons. They cared… even if they didn't quite understand. And that was more than he could say for his _beloved _twin right now.

_I'm getting as bitter as him,_ he thought sullenly.

"Just to make sure you're not wrong," Huni said. "It doesn't make sense to be so sad when he never said so."

Kaoru opened his mouth to argue, then closed it again realizing it was futile. He nodded, having no intention to do any such thing. But he didn't want to go home, to torture himself tonight. In his head he began to think of a way around it, of a way to be able to not have to spend any extra time at the Hitachin Mansion.

* * *

Kyoya looked up from Tamaki's face as Kaoru walked in with Huni and Mori, the younger boy's eyes and nose red from tears he had obviously shed. Hikaru started at the sight of his brother, his face flooding with worry and guilt at the state he was in. But as he made to get up, Kaoru walked right by him without a single word, without even acknowledging his presence, to look down at Tamaki with a worried expression. Hikaru stared after him, blinking, in shock and sat down again heavily as if someone had physically struck him.

_So the game has changed, then,_ he thought, then mentally snorted. _Ha, at this point the game is over. Now it's all about the reactions._

He looked down at his sleeping friend again, and sighed inaudibly. _Look at all this trouble you're causing, baka. Look at it, because I am going to make you pay if you get better. _He blinked.

When_ you get better._

"He's going to be fine?" Kaoru said quietly, his doubt making it a question. Kyoya took a deep breath, making his voice loud enough for the whole room to hear.

"The doctor said it was just a cold mixed with a case of insomnia. He said it wasn't bad enough for pills, he just needs lots of fluids and he can't go anywhere or get out of bed unless he has to. He can go back to school when he can walk in a straight line and he's no longer tired," he said. Relief swept over the little gathering in a wave, seeping into their minds like sea water, even breaking through Kyoya's pessimism. "I think it would be beneficial if he had someone he knew well to stay with him, but I'm far too busy and I don't think any of you-"

"I'll do it."

There was complete silence in the room as everyone looked at Kaoru incredulously. He was still looking down at Tamaki, but there was no way he didn't feel the stares at his back. Kyoya tried hard to read his face, but it was shadowed due to the position of his head. His slate-gray eyes flitted to the others. Huni was pouting slightly as if he was disappointed in the red-haired younger twin, Mori's face stoic as usual. Haruhi was very obviously shocked, her eyes wide and her mouth slightly open as she stared at Kaoru. And Hikaru… his expression was painful to look at, a mask of tortured guilt and shock, his breath coming in inaudible, shallow, labored bursts as he stared at his other half. It was the most painful expression he'd ever seen on the face of the twins, and if he hadn't seen worse from Tamaki the other day he might have actually been phased by it. As it was, it shocked him a little, and he turned back to Kaoru.

"I'll stay with him," he restated, clearing his throat. "Huni and Mori have training, you have… whatever it is you do, and Haruhi is too much of an overachiever."

Kyoya did not miss the fact that he hadn't mentioned his look-alike at all. "…thank you, Kaoru. We're losing money every day he's not at the club. If he's not in school, some girls in our class won't even bother to go, because there's no hope at all he'll be there."

"Yeah," he said, quietly. "I'll call and have my things brought over. I can send any designs to my mother with Tono's scanner and computer."

"I can tell them, Kaoru," Hikaru said desperately in a strained voice. His statement wasn't even acknowledged as Kaoru pulled out his cell phone. "W-"

"I'll do it right now," he said to Kyoya. Kyoya nodded, not letting an ounce of his shock register on his pale face. What in the world was going on? He began to walk out of the room, his phone pressed to his ear.

"Hai, I'll be staying at the Suoh Mansion until he's better… Hai… And don't forget…" he closed the door behind him, and Hikaru let a barely audible sound rip from his throat before he put his face in his hands. Haruhi looked at him worriedly but wisely said nothing as Hikaru sat there like a memorial tribute to grief, every line of his body dripping with it like it'd been dumped on him from a bucket.

**A/N: Well… interesting turn of events. Depressing, but interesting…**

**Well, what do you think? I've been trying to stay true to character but it's a little hard since they've never put the characters in a similar situation to compare my writing with… anyhow, R&R and tell me how great/horribly I'm doing. **

**As always, suggestions, comments, flames all welcome!**


	11. Blood Red Agony

Hikaru stared at Kaoru in horror as his twin left the room, jeans swishing as he walked casually outside, one pale ear against the phone… as if he hadn't just driven a stake into his twin's heart. He heard a strange strangled noise as his face fell into his hands, and he realized with sick fascination that it came from his throat. He watched, with a detached confusion, as he slowly fell apart piece by piece in front of his own eyes, his body not even moving a muscle. So this was what it was like to lose the one thing that mattered to you more than anything in the world and have it be your fault. This was what it was like to push the most loving, patient person over the edge with your idiotic pursuit of something that could not, _should not_ be yours.

_Kaoru… Kaoru, I'm sorry…_ he thought desperately. But it was too late. Kaoru was tired of waiting for him… standing around and waiting for him to realize his stupidity and come back to him. Kaoru was tired of it, and that'd been the last straw. There was no way he would ever accept his apology.

_It wasn't stupidity!_ part of him cried, and it disgusted him._ Haruhi-_

_Is not as important as Kaoru. _he said with finality, but the other part of him, the one that typically won such arguments, continued on with its selfish arguments, and he realized that he should never have let it win so many times and let it become spoiled. Let _himself_ become so spoiled.

_Not in the same way. Kaoru's your twin, and you two are closer than anyone else in the world could be. But Haruhi would be close to you in a totally different way-_

_Kaoru and I were always close in that way! We were close in every way imaginable… and I ruined it._

_But that wasn't supposed to be. That's not right. It's against every rule out there. You and Haruhi would be right. It-_

_Who cares about right and wrong? We never did. It was always about breaking the rules, having fun-_

_You can't have fun all your life. _The voice was beginning to sound desperate now, and Hikaru's chest filled with hope that maybe this time the right side would win. The part of him that listened to Kaoru, his voice of reason all his life. _Exactly, he's so boring. He's always trying to get you to do the right thing-_

_And I'm going to do the right thing. From this moment onward, I'm going to do the right thing, Kaoru. For you. _And Hikaru smiled inwardly as the voice remained silent, obviously not having a response. _And maybe then I'll be worthy of your acceptance, Kaoru. Maybe then… maybe then you can forgive me._

* * *

Haruhi stared in confusion at Hikaru for a few more moments before silently getting up and walking outside to where Kaoru was. Typically she wasn't one to meddle, but this was out of hand. Kaoru was just putting his phone into his pocket, bracing himself against the wall and staring out the window moodily. If she didn't know any better she would have thought he was Hikaru, what with a face like that.

"Are you okay?" she asked hesitantly, stopping five or six feet from him. The pale red-head looked up at her and forced a host club smile.

"Of course." His outline was traced in a glowing gold, the sun setting behind him and staining the sky red. It was a gorgeous sight that would have made the girls cry, but for the tears that even Haruhi could see he hadn't successfully wiped away.

"It doesn't look like it," she pointed out in her typical blunt way. "What's wrong with you? Why'd you do that?"

"Do what?" he said nonchalantly, getting that typical Hitachinn look of disinterest and obliviously rude candor. Haruhi looked at him pointedly.

"Do you _want_ to hurt him? Because if so then you succeeded," she said tartly, and Kaoru snorted.

"Who? I didn't see me hurting anyone in there. I offered to help tono. How is that hurting anyone?" He pursed his lips and let that fake frown spread across his face. "I thought I was being helpful."

Haruhi felt the anger bubbling up inside of her, a feeling she hardly ever felt, let alone expressed. But it was something that came whenever someone hurt these new things she'd never really had to this extent or needed, these things called friends. Of course she'd had friends before, but this was at a different level than before. Even when she spoke with someone it wasn't the same way she treated them. She had always distanced herself from other people the try and achieve her goals, never really thinking too much about anything else except that one objective. But now that she had friends, now that she cared for them, it angered her to see them in such a state of misery as Hikaru had collapsed into as soon as Kaoru had left the room.

"You didn't volunteer because you wanted to be helpful. You volunteered for yourself and no one else. You're being selfish," she replied, her voice still dry and blunt. But she could feel something bubbling up inside of her like molten rock, burning away at her, setting every nerve ending aflame with little puffs of smoke somewhere deep inside of her. And as she scolded herself for getting angry of all things, part of her was exhilarated by this new thing, this fury. It was something she hardly ever felt, but it was coming more often now. Maybe it was due to the stress of their current situation, but suddenly it was a part of her life. She cherished the feeling, savoring the taste in her mouth as she waited for Kaoru's response.

"Well I suppose I want tono to get better. Does that really make me selfish?" he asked, looking confused and a little hurt. And that was all it took. Haruhi's fists clenched and her body straightened into a rigid line as she stood on her toes to glare up at her friend.

"You hurting Hikaru is selfish! Whatever is going on between you isn't worth hurting him like this! The two of you are so close, don't you understand how much you're hurting him? Do you expect me to sit by and not be angry with you while you hurt my friend?" she burst out, a pang of pain remembering who she had first yelled at in Ouran washed away as she watched Kaoru's expression. He flinched at the mention of his twin but then his face became angry.

"Look who's talking about selfish," he replied, bitter sarcasm dripping from every single word that slipped from between his lips. And they were slipping, like ice cubes cold and hard, and he couldn't catch them as they fell or hold them between his lips. "You sit there and give us all false hope. Who's the one who's really selfish?"

Haruhi's anger faded as her body turned numb, his next statement unheard in her moment of shock. But he was still talking.

"…and you know why he's sick. You're the selfish one." His voice hadn't raised in volume at all, but every single one was crystal clear and stung like dry ice. Of course, she'd thought it was her fault too, but she didn't think everyone else did as well. She didn't think that everyone else… well, that was foolish of her. Of course they knew. They weren't all in the A classes for nothing, after all. They weren't all in Ouran for nothing. They were smart enough to know exactly what was going on. It was her that had taken too long to figure it out, too long to process it, too long to try and work up a little courage. She still didn't have the courage, and somehow she knew deep down a part of her was happy he was unconscious, because she wouldn't have to speak to him until he woke up.

When he did, on the other hand…

They stood in silence for a few moments, and finally Kaoru turned and looked back out the window.

"It doesn't matter anyway," he said finally, his voice back to the disinterested blunt one. Haruhi looked at him, confusedly, but he was already walking away.

"Where are you going?" she asked. He shrugged listlessly.

"Anywhere but here," he replied whimsically, but his voice broke at the last moment, and as he turned the corner a single glistening drop fell to the floor, sparkling like a diamond in the ruby-red sun.

**A/N: :'( Sadness… well, pleeease tell me what u think will happen/how u like it. sniff**


	12. Confusion and Chaos

The club had been bustling as usual as everyone tried to make up for Tamaki's absence, but Kyoya had been right in his predictions; all of the girls who were in Tamaki's classes and noticed his absence hadn't even bothered to come to the club. Huni had been restricted to one slice of cake for the duration of the club due to expenses, but it hardly mattered anyhow. No one was happy enough to behave properly. The only reason so many girls had come was to watch the strange, twisted drama that had began to take place in the host club, something that no one could hide at all.

The twins fighting for real.

It wasn't even all-out war like the previous fake argument had been. Instead it was more of a sick torturous show at Hikaru's expense. Kaoru entertained girls coldly while they stared at him questioningly and a little pleadingly (for the sake of his brother). Hikaru was being overly nice, every word delivered with a sincere but melancholy smile, every action showing the pain he felt being across the room from his brother. Every so often one of the girls would give the perfect opening for a typical scene, knowing exactly how to start them off, but nothing came of it. All it brought was a pained look from Hikaru and a cold, fake look of confusion from Kaoru. The angst of it all was enough to make every single one of them screech and cry with the drama of it. Haruhi had hit the nail on the head; it was exactly like a bad soap opera.

She sighed heavily as she continued to collect the dishes and such from the tables. Huni was savoring his very last crumb of cake, his mouth seemingly permanently set in a pout. It had sent every single girl screaming to get him to smile; a contest of sorts. Only one girl had succeeded; she'd brought cake. Mori was looking at him a little worriedly, but there was no communication between the brunette and the tall senior as there usually was. It was too depressing for that… too quiet. As the last girl trailed out the door Kaoru got up and collected his few possessions.

"Tono's waiting," he said by way of poor explanation, and was gone in an instant. As soon as he left, Hikaru crumpled like a flower without the sun. It had become a familiar sight, as was Huni bouncing over (somehow still seeming sad as he did it) and talking to him softly, Mori hovering in the background like a shadow. Haruhi sighed and put the last dishes in their places, turning around and surveying the damaged little group of people, wishing with all her heart that everything was back to the way it used to be.

_Or perhaps not_, she thought pensively. _If everything was back to the way it was… nothing would have changed at all. Senpai and I wouldn't have…_

Haruhi blinked in shock. _Ah, Kaoru was right. How selfish of me._ She bit her lip, closing the cupboard and locking up the plates now that the club was over. It was then that she noticed at Kyoya was looking at her meaningfully. She raised an eyebrow in response, and he looked at her with an expression that was obviously implying disdain. She obviously knew she wanted her to go over there.

She sighed and walked over with a fair amount of trepidation. "Hai?"

Kyoya's glasses glinted brightly, his face tilted up to her. Somehow, however, she still felt small in his presence. He didn't say anything for a few moments, but his head tilted ever so slightly, his eyes bared for a few precious seconds. There was pain there… anger, and accusation. Then, with a very deliberate movement, he turned his head back to the computer.

"I think it might be prudent for you to go see Tamaki," was all he said. The implications of that statement were endless, but Haruhi let it go. She had the feeling she knew what he really wanted; her to talk to Kaoru again. There was no way that he was well enough to be awake and see her at this point. She knew that. He didn't really expect her to see the baka at all.

"I understand. I'll stop by on my way home," she replied, turning to leave. She hadn't even taken a step, however, when Kyoya spoke again.

"No need to bother with the bus or walking. I'll drop you off. I have a message for Tamaki in any case."

Haruhi paused, put didn't turn around. She wanted so badly to ask if it would cost her anything, but she knew it just wasn't the time. "Ah… hai." Footsteps were heard behind her.

"I'm leaving now. Don't forget your belongings," was all he said as he passed her and headed for the door. Haruhi looked after him for a few seconds, then let out a mushroom sigh and grabbed her bag, the sound of indiscernible whispers from the other side of the room echoing loudly in her ears.

And so it was that Haruhi ended up in what seemed to her to be a block-long limo with the Shadow-Lord.

* * *

_This is for more troublesome than I previously predicted, _Kyoya grumbled to himself. Haruhi sat across from him, her chin in her hand as she stared out the window. _What should I say?_

Haruhi turned and looked at him questioningly. "Nani?" she asked, tilting her head to the side with her inquiry. Kyoya blinked at her, his face impassive.

"I'd like to talk to Tamaki privately for a few moments once we get there, if that's alright with you," was his only response. Haruhi blinked, then smiled and nodded.

"Of course," she said, the genuine sincerity and reassuring kindness in her voice making him flinch inwardly. How was it that she always saw right through him?

"It will only take a moment," he added, not adding the reason he would only take a moment. They both knew Tamaki probably wouldn't even be well enough to speak with him. Inwardly, he became confused. Why had he said that? It was so redundant and unnecessary. Was he really so desperate to keep her talking?

"Tamaki-Senpai will be fine. I'm sure he'll be awake and able to speak with you for longer soon," Haruhi said encouragingly. Kyoya blinked again, but returned to typing away at his computer without a response.

_Damn girl…_

* * *

Kaoru yawned loudly and went back to writing. Part of him loved his newfound arrangements. There were so many less distractions, so much less drama… Of course he'd always gotten along better with Kyoya than Tono. Hikaru was the one who liked Tamaki more. But being sick, Tamaki was a lot less noisy. At first he'd started crying with gratitude when he found out his sons had come to take care of him. When he'd heard it was just Kaoru though… well, he'd become rather somber. He kept trying to talk to him about it, but Kaoru always got out of it by telling him to rest. This most recent conversation had left both of them exhausted, but for Kaoru it was just emotionally. He was trying to concentrate on English homework now… just keep his mind on homework…

_It's so quiet and peaceful. No Hikaru to attempt to seduce me while I study, no Hikaru to tease me for writing poetry, no Hikaru to… to…_

Kaoru sighed and put down his English book. _Damnit._

He took a deep breath and placed his head in his hands, willing the tears to disappear with all his heart. He was so tired of hurting. He thought that spending time away from Hikaru would help him to accept his defeat, but it just made him miss him more. Before, he'd been able to go home and speak to him, have the feeling of Hikaru's head in his lap while he read. Before he could pretend that Hikaru still loved him. Even now, he still liked to lie in bed and think of how crumpled Hikaru was when he left. It gave him a strange sense of sadistic joy. It helped him to pretend.

_Not that I should be pretending,_ grumbled Kaoru to himself, somewhat angrily. It wasn't so much at Hikaru either, more at himself. How could you love someone so much after being rejected by them? It just wasn't… wasn't…

"Ahem...?" Kaoru turned around quickly to see a maid hovering timidly in the corner, looking him with quite a bit of consternation. He suppressed a sigh and gave her his best host club smile.

"Hai?" he replied. Upon seeing he was alright, the maid brightened.

"Ah, there are two young men waiting at the door," she said. Kaoru's heart jumped up into his throat, imagining Hikaru and Haruhi…

"Oh, is it my brother?" he asked, feigning nonchalance. The maid shook her head.

"No, one is tall with dark hair, and the other is short and thin…" the maid trailed off as Kaoru stood. She was obviously new here; all the staff knew the names of Tamaki's friends by heart. But it didn't matter; it was obviously Huni and Mori.

"Hai, show me where they are."

The maid led him through the halls towards Tamaki's room, then left him in front of the doors. "The tall one is inside. He wanted to talk privately. The other one is inside that room." She motioned to the door a little ways away from

_Talk privately?_ wondered Kaoru. Mori didn't talk, let alone talk privately. Nor did he go anywhere without Huni. Confused, he walked into the other room. Maybe Huni would have an explanation for it. However, upon seeing that the head of hair above the back of the chair when he opened the door was mahogany-colored, he froze. Haruhi stood and turned around.

"Kaoru!" He blinked in response. "Ah… how are you? How's Senpai?"

He smiled at the last, glad of a topic to latch on to. He didn't plan to let go of it anytime soon either. "He's doing great! Tono was even able to talk to me for a few hours yesterday!" He paused, making a face. "It was rather annoying, actually…"

"That's good," Haruhi said in her typical kind yet monotone voice, but her face had lit up. The change was highly evident, and he wished Hikaru would see the difference. He wished… well, never mind that. "Ah… have you…I was thinking…. Well, I was wonder-"

"You sound like Tono," deadpanned Kaoru. It wasn't like her to act like this, wasn't like her to not have the words. She always knew exactly what to say. So what was it about now that was stopping her?

"Ah…" Haruhi sighed. "Have you spoken to Hikaru?"

_So that's what this is about…_ he thought dryly. It wasn't as if he hadn't expected a visit soon anyhow. Huni and Mori had been over countless time to try and get him to open up. He did, he supposed, to them. Just not to the person they wanted him to. He shrugged emotionlessly in response.

"You should. He was crying again today…" Haruhi said, her eyes pleading even as her voice was the same as it always was. Kind and monotone, it was a voice that echoed in his head constantly at night. Those words of hers screamed inside his head, bouncing off the walls of his mind and echoing again and again, until he felt black and blue inside. Every night was a fitful nightmare of tossing and turning, that one seven-letter word branded across his consciousness. He could tell even now she was trying very hard not to call him selfish again, trying so hard to talk some sense into him. Couldn't she see he wasn't the one who needed to be talked to? Couldn't she tell he was the only one who was still thinking the way he had always thought? She always used to be able to… but perhaps Tono's condition had screwed with her logic. Screwed with all of them.

It wasn't just Haruhi; it was everyone. Their acting was flawless, make no mistake, but there were the little things only the other members could notice. Kyoya kept forgetting to fix his glasses, his eyes glinting with consternation in the darkness. Mori didn't even respond with an "ah" or "hm" anymore, his stoic face closer to stone that it had ever been seen to be before. Huni was consuming half as much cake as usual, and it obviously had nothing at all to do with the fact that they were losing customers with Tamaki gone and the saved money was helpful. Haruhi had dropped a platter that week, which was very unlike her considering how careful she was with everything breakable due to the way she met the host club. Kyoya hadn't even batted en eyelash, nor had he even hinted or joked that she might be charged for it. No one had said anything at all… and it was frightening. To Kaoru at least, anyway.

"Someone was crying?" he asked, feigning ignorance. Hikaru wasn't crying. And if he was it was over Haruhi, not him. He wanted so much to reach over and strangle her… just wrap his long-fingered hands around that pretty little neck of hers and-

_God, what's wrong with me?_ he gasped inwardly. He took a deep breath, steeling himself for whatever she would say next. He would get through this. He could live without-

_Shit!_

Well, he could live.

"Kaoru, please. He's trying so hard. He's so much nicer now, and he misses you. Whatever's going on between you, whatever you argued about, is it worth it? Is it worth ruining your relationship? Is it worth ruining _our_ relationship? With the club, with your friends, with your family? Doesn't he mean anything to you at all?" she was getting angry again, her voice becoming more earnest as she continued to speak, continued to watch his face. She only got angrier as it didn't change, the expression still "innocently confused".

"What do you know?" he asked, mocking her monotone voice. "You don't know anything about us-… um, me. How can you tell me what to do and what it should mean to me?"

Haruhi stared at him in shock for a few moments, her whole body trembling. "I was under the impression I knew enough about you to be your friend. Apparently I was wrong, though, because even a child knows that how you're treating your so-called friends isn't how one should treat a friend at all! Now, if you'll excuse me!" Her voice rose in tone as she spoke, until she was shouting. She stood abruptly and slammed the door behind her, walking right past a startled Kyoya who had obviously been listening at the door.

"Good afternoon, Kyoya-Senpai," she said curtly, and continued on her path. He blinked at her.

"Ah… do you want a dri-"

"It's alright. I think I'd like to walk." And she was gone.

**A/N: Ah, Kaoru, stop being a jerk… It's not your fault though… :( We love you! And Hikaru does too!**

**I don't think he can hear me…XD Anyways, this is getting really angsty and annoyingly depressing to write. I'm kinda in the right mood right now cause I'm superbly tired, but not the point. But don't worry, we'll pass the angst soon enough and get to the cutsy reunion! Yay! Anyways, comments or whatever are all appreciated! And thanks for the enthusiasm at me continuing Graduation despite my disliking for the story. Um, review please… and suggestions are really quite welcome. I definitely need some. :-D **


	13. Inaviodable Idiot

What was it about life that makes it so complicated? Kaoru couldn't understand. He had been throwing this question at himself for hours, the stress of his conversation with Haruhi strangling him. Strangling… god, what the hell was that? I've never been so violent in my life. He blinked.

Well, I've pretended to be… he shivered unconsciously, and shoved thoughts of Hikaru's little fantasy enactments out of his head. Hikaru loved when Kaoru took the lead, which he usually didn't. It really wasn't that he was a uke. It was simply that he enjoyed watching his brother take over instead, do whatever he wanted. It was what his brother typically preferred, and he was so good at it too. But he liked a little change once in a while, and Kaoru never objected. But now the younger twin was the one leading. Leading them apart from each other.

No, this is his fault. I didn't do anything. He's the one with the endless infatuation, the irrational, idiotic, pointless, stupid- His phone began to ring suddenly, and he glanced at the small device for a mere second before tossing it onto the bed and spinning in the computer-chair again. Hikaru called him every night twice before 11; the latest time they usually headed to bed. Unless they were plotting. Or… well, otherwise occupied. Stop thinking about that!

"Agggggh," he groaned loudly, his head falling onto the back of the chair. He stared at the high ceiling and tried to breathe evenly. He could count the seconds between the next phone call, he knew this routine so well. Then he'd have to go through the agonizing process of convincing himself not to listen to the messages, just cut it off at the very suggestion of his voice and delete it… "Five… four…three… two… one."

There it was, the phone again. He scowled and threw a pillow at the metal device in response, but instead it flew towards a young female servant who'd just entered the room and stood in the way of the fluffy projectile. She squeaked and ducked, but it was too late and the pillow bounced right off her head and fell right into her surprised hands. Kaoru looked up and a blush spread across his cheeks. He stood, apologizing profusely.

"I really-, I mean I didn't notice that-… I was aiming for the phone, because-… I mean-"

"It's fine, really," the maid stuttered regaining her composure and placing the pillow on the bed sedately. "I came to tell you that young Master Suoh has just awoken and he was asking for you."

"Ah, um… sure," Kaoru said, following the maid through the large mansion. She stopped at the large doors leading into Tamaki's room, bowed, and left him. He knocked tiredly.

"Come in!" Tamaki's voice was a little hoarse, but his overly bright nature made him shine through in any case. It made Kaoru happy to see him sitting up again, and his tone of voice was heartening, but he really wasn't in the mood to talk to Tamaki anyway. Hikaru had always liked Tamaki better…

Stop thinking about him, he scolded himself sternly. He smiled weakly at Tamaki. "Hello, Tono."

"Kaoru! Come sit by me!" This perfect features turned into an adorably hesitant frown. "Or maybe not. I'm contagious, you see. So perhaps you could pull up a chair. But don't pull it up too close, because, you see, then you would be too close, and the germs could-"

"I know, Tono," Kaoru said with a smirk, and dragged one of Tamaki's large, overly-cushioned chairs closer to the bed. "What is it?"

"What? I can't just call you down here to talk? About… life… and… stuff?" Tamaki's attempted innocent smile was a failure, as the young man was a terrible actor.

"Is this about what Kyoya-Senpai was harassing you about today, Tono?" he asked resignedly. Tamaki's eyes widened, and he sat back, his features serious and excited all at once somehow.

"Well yes. And no. Well, no, not really. Well I was planning to bring it up, but perhaps that wasn't the best way to try and-"

Kaoru cleared his throat to stop the blond host-king's babbling. I swear, he saved up all his pointless chatter while he was sleeping and now it's all pouring out. He pursed his lips wryly. Lucky me…

Tamaki sighed, then his whole body relaxed and he turned to Kaoru seriously. "I like Haruhi," he said solemnly, as if telling him a grave and serious fact. It reminded Kaoru of the way one might tell their friend they had a disease, or some severe surgery scheduled, or a third ear… He snickered, and Tamaki stared at him confusedly. Kaoru couldn't help it; he laughed harder.

"What?" he asked worriedly. "Does she not like me back? Kyoya told me not to worry about it, but I have been and I tried calling Hikaru but then I realized that you took the phone so he could call you and he has the other phone and-"

"Ahem," Kaoru said, trying not to flinch at the mention of his brother's name.

"And I heard you two are fighting!" Tamaki finished anyway. Kaoru gave up and flinched. Visibly. And not even the dense idiot in front of him could help but notice. Violet shards seemed to spill for the blond prince's widened eyes, and they bored into him like knives. "You are! You are fighting! Why?!"

"I don't want to talk about it, Tono. And Haruhi will be even more angry with me than she is now if you get sick because you became excitable. Perhaps you should sleep," Kaoru said, beginning to stand, but Tamaki attempted to stand too. He growled in annoyance, shoving the junior onto the bed. "Stay, damnit! You have to get better!"

"I'm not staying or sleeping until you explain," Tamaki said kindly but firmly. Kaoru groaned again, and Tamaki's stare deepened in intensity and compassion. "What's going on?"

"I can't tell you." Kaoru mumbled between his hands. He hand hung his head in them, his elbows resting on the infected bed sheets, all care of not getting sick gone. Tamaki seemed to have forgotten too, as he placed a hesitant hand on his shoulder.

"Why not? I'm here, aren't I? And you won't let me leave. So tell me what's going on." Kaoru simply shook his head slightly. "I don't want you two to be fighting. And I don't want you using me as an excuse to stay away from Hikaru."

Tamaki blinked as Kaoru's whole body tensed with that one name, and Kaoru mumbled something between his hands. "What?" His voice was gentle and coaxing, and Kaoru sighed and gave up.

"Let me make something clear. Haruhi likes you. She likes you as much as you like her. So whatever I tell you next, you have to promise not to have a fit," Kaoru grumbled grudgingly. Tamaki nodded, his eyes completely trusting, and Kaoru closed his eyes and put his head in his hands again, but not over his mouth so he could speak. "You two are meant to be with each other. It's more than fate, more than destiny. And it can't be changed."

He didn't have to look up to see the light shining in Tamaki's eyes, so he just kept talking. "But H-… Hi-…Hik-…" He took a deep breath and tried again. "Hikaru… began to like Haruhi as more than a friend after the summer. After the whole thunder incident. We stopped sleeping together, or rather he-… so we slept in different beds, and then… and I told him that he couldn't have you, that she had already picked you, but he wouldn't listen to me. And I told him that he couldn't betray you in any case, and he told me…" Kaoru trailed off, somehow managing not to start crying again. He didn't look up to see Tamaki's reaction.

"So you're fighting over Haruhi and me." It was a statement, not a question. Kaoru forgot sometimes how insightful Tamaki was, how good he was with any relationship that was not his own. He forgot how wise Tamaki was underneath all his idiocy, and he forgot that he always suspected half of it was farce. It was the only reason he let himself be so harsh on the blond Junior; Kaoru knew he was smarter than he ever let on.

"I guess."

"That's strange. Kyoya told me Hikaru was crying over you leaving. Have you talked to him?"

"No."

"Why not? He said he calls every day."

"He does."

"But you don't want to talk to him." Another statement. A long pause. "I talked to him on the phone."

Kaoru was sure Tamaki could feel the sudden thumping of his heart with the hand on his shoulder. "Oh," he gasped, more than said. He wasn't surprised at all because he'd heard the whole story. Hikaru, knowing Hikaru must have been blunt and sent the idiot into a flutter. That's why he'd been so overly jittery when he came in…

"Actually, I have him on hold." More thumping, faster this time. Another long pause. "He wants to talk to you."

Kaoru shook his head.

"He has something to tell you."

Another shake of bright red locks.

"Kaoru." His voice was firm again, and amber eyes slowly rose to meet insistent violet ones. There were tears sparkling in the younger boy's eyes, and one side of Tamaki's mouth pulled up in a melancholy smile. "Why are you crying?"

"I don't want to hear it," Kaoru whispered, whimpered almost. "I can't… I hear his voice, all the time, and I can't… I don't want to…I-"

"I promise you want to hear what he has to say," Tamaki said, and the pure innocent faith in his voice, the look in his eyes, the knowledge that the blond host-prince was the most terrible actor in the world (aside from maybe Haruhi) was what made his already wavering determination finally break.

"I… I don't-"

"Want to talk to him in front of me. So he'll call you on your phone in five minutes," Tamaki said, giving him a huge, victorious smile. Kaoru shrank under the pure wattage beaming from his face. "I'll tell him."

Kaoru left the room, feeling beaten. "Now I know how those girls who follow him around constantly feel. He's dangerous," he muttered darkly, but for all the cynicism in his voice his heart was thumping faster than it had in weeks.

A/N: Sheesh, that took forever to think up. I really think Tamaki is super OOC here, but then again he gets serious and he's smart about people. Idk, Tamaki's complicated. Lol. Anyways, Review pls! Tell me what u think! Was it terrible, was it okay… is Kaoru being too bitchy for his character… XD


	14. Dying Devotion

Kaoru paced the room, his heart in a flutter. The room was really not big enough to pace properly. He was used to the immense bedroom he shared with his brother, but if he left to pace in the hall then the phone would be there in the room and he might not hear it…

_Well I could bring the phone._

_And have the conversation in the hallway? No!_

_Stop pacing. Sit down._

_This is all that stupid, idiotic, blond, baka of an-_

_No, Tono only meant to help, he was just trying to…_

"What's taking him so long to dial the phone!?" Kaoru grumbled under his breath. He checked the time again. Four minutes. Or maybe four and a half. The phone didn't say. Maybe he was going to call any second. Maybe…

_I should just not pick up. Hai, who says I have to talk to him?_

_Tono. And if you don't he's going to harass you and not rest and then Haruhi will be really upset with you. She's already mad because she thinks you hurt Hikaru._

_Yeah, I'm the one to blame here. This is all his fault. He was the one who-_

_Oh shit. The phone._

He picked it up and stared at it, counting the rings. Should he answer? Should he not? What was worse, having his brother and one of his best friends hate him or hearing his brother say he didn't love him anymore? Maybe the latter would finally convince him to stop… feeling so pathetic. He just wanted the truth. He was so tired of hiding, so tired of sitting in the shadows and waiting for Hikaru. No, he wasn't going to sit in the shadows anymore. He cleared his throat, took a deep breath, and calmed himself.

"Hai?" he answered, very nonchalantly. Very calmly. _Very good._

"Kaoru? Is… is that you?"

"Who else would it be? This is my phone is it not? And who are you? You've been calling me constantly this past week."

"It's Hikaru, Kaoru. Don't tell me you don't recognize my voice on the phone," his voice tried to come out snappish, but it just sounded anguished to Kaoru. Somehow, he relished the sound.

"Oh, I see, sorry. I haven't spoken to you on the phone in a while I suppose. What is it?"

"I miss you." The voice was timid and quiet. That was not Hikaru's voice there. Hikaru's voice was strong and sure. Hikaru's voice was cocky and sweet. This was not Hikaru's voice at all… it was his.

"You see me at school every day."

"Kaoru…" his brother whispered his name pleadingly, and it was like a caress. He could almost believe, almost… if he shut his eyes. There was so much emotion in that voice, just the way he spoke he could almost pretend that maybe, just maybe- "I love you. And I'm sorry."

His knees buckled, and he nearly dropped the phone as he fell onto the bed. _Oh, come on! Fate, were you not cruel enough to tempt me like this with the mere suggestion of the phone-call? Don't do this to me! I can't take it!_

_Stop, stop, stop. He doesn't mean it that way. Not anymore. Stop. Breathe. Breathe. Inhale, exhale… You have to breathe damnit!_

* * *

Hikaru waited with apprehension on the other end. He'd heard something like a thud but he wasn't quite sure what it was. Maybe Kaoru had dropped the phone in disgust. Maybe Kaoru had passed out with fury at hearing him say something like that, suggesting that he should forgive him for what he'd done. Maybe… the possibilities swirled.

"Kaoru? Look, you were right, and I'm sorry. I'm really sorry Kaoru, and I know that you hate me and you're really pissed and you have every right to be because I was being such an ass, but please. I really… I miss you, and I love you. I miss holding you and I miss talking to you, I miss your laugh and your voice, I miss the hesitation in your smile and the fire in your eyes and I just… I'm sorry, Kaoru. Please, come home."

There was a long pause on the other end of the line, and what sounded to Hikaru like gasps of rage. His ear was pressed to the phone so tightly he was sure there would be red marks when he pulled it away.

…_if_ he ever pulled it away.

"I… I can't. Tamaki's still not well enough." His voice was shaking, he was so angry. Hikaru took a shuddering breath.

"Well, could I come over?"

"I don't think that's a good idea, Hikaru. It wouldn't be fair to ask them for more room."

_I remember when you used to open your arms and welcome me. But I gave up the privilege to sleep with you when I started acting like a jerk._ He thought, gathering his resolve. Or trying to. "I… I understand. I'll see you… I'll see you tomorrow then, I guess. Or, whenever. Tomorrow's Saturday… yeah." He took a deep breath, and tried one last time. "Kaoru… I know you're seriously angry with me and I know I hurt you and I'm sorry, I'm so, _so_ sorry, and I know that Haruhi's supposed to be with Tamaki, I know that now. I know they're meant to be with each other, and I know you were right. And I… I know we belong together too, Kaoru. Even if you don't believe it anymore." And then he closed the phone and let himself go, clutching Kaoru's blankets and the scent of him to his chest like an addict to his drug, inhaling and wishing, pretending, dreaming…

* * *

Kaoru stared at the phone in complete and total shock as the line went dead. _No, I was the fool. I was so bent on painting you as the wrong one that I refused to listen to you and we could have spent this whole time together! I have to get over there. Or he has to come here. I have to, I have to do something. I have to fix this. Right now. I have to… um… _

A quiet knocking interrupted his Tamaki-like ramblings at that moment, and he jumped, startled, and brushed the tears out of his eyes before opening the door. A young man of about twenty stood outside in a chauffer's outfit, blinking with what seemed to be a certain amount of embarrassment at witnessing Kaoru's obviously fragile emotional state. He cleared his throat uncomfortably.

"Ah, I was told you might need me for something?" he asked hesitantly. Kaoru blinked confusedly at him, then his eyes widened slightly. A corner of his mouth turned up.

"Yes, perfect. Let me get changed out of these wrinkled clothes. In the mean time, would you mind telling a maid to bring a bunch of candles in, if it wouldn't be too much trouble? Have them lit and scattered around the room. And have her fix the room up a little bit, if you wouldn't mind. I'll be out in ten minutes."

"Not a problem, sir." The chauffer bowed and walked away, and Kaoru nearly tripped himself slamming the door closed and near running over to the closet. He knew exactly what he should wear.

He pulled out one of Hikaru's favorite shirts on him, something he'd specifically had done for his brother and him. It looked like a simple silk white dress shirt at first, but if one looked at the design on the left breast pocket they might notice it looked like writing coiled around and around to make a curling red rose. Quite obviously, it was a confession. It was a dangerous shirt to wear around lest someone look too closely, but on their daring days they put it on under their vests or school uniforms. The very knowledge that Hikaru's love was written out on their chests always had them doing their best, and it was a guaranteed faint-day at the club. A loose pair of black slacks and a semi-casual jacket-suit thing that they'd invented was pulled over it. A pageboy-like black hat finished the outfit. He knew he looked overly formal to just be picking up his brother from their house, but he figured that candles was already pushing it. And honestly, at this point, who cared? He certainly didn't. He spun around the room once checking to make sure the maid wouldn't have any unpleasant surprises, and ran out to the limo. He had a feeling Tamaki and Kyoya had this all planned out; he just had to play his part.

**A/N: NOW we're getting somewhere! *sighs* Yay. XD I still don't like how angsty this whole thing is, but tell me what you think. Sorry it's moving so slowly, I just want to get all of this down before we move on. I love the twins. :-) Anyways, review! Please? :-( Or Hikaru and Kaoru will cry again. Ok, not really, but please? XD**

* * *


	15. Glowing Relief

Hikaru shivered slightly. Even though it was summer, the night breeze was making him freeze to death out here. Silk didn't do much to keep one warm, and he'd been foolish enough to think he didn't need a jacket. He scowled at Tamaki's intervention. Kaoru had made it very clear that he didn't want his brother there. But Tamaki had insisted on a blow-by-blow, the exact words Kaoru had spoken. And when he'd finished recounting the phone-call, he'd insisted that he come over right away, said that he was sending a car. So here he was, standing with the belongings he needed for the next day in the shirt he'd specifically designed for him and his brother, hoping that Kaoru would see the confession and remember…

He watched the limo drive up and didn't even bother to wait for the driver to open the door, pulling it open and climbing in himself with a shudder. One of the Hitachiin servants put his bag in the back, and closed the door behind him. He was thankful for the privacy window; he wasn't in the mood for small talk. The driver knew exactly where he was to be taken in any case. There was no need for excessive conversation. He wasn't in the mood to be nice. He was so tired of it. He loved Kaoru, and he wanted to make that clear, he wanted to be good enough for him, but it was exhausting to be nice all the time. He'd always been the blunter of the two, and keeping his mouth shut was getting to be overly taxing. He wanted Kaoru so much it hurt, so much it was a physical ache. The very feeling of being held, or even touched just once could alleviate it, he just knew it, but that was obviously not likely to happen at any point he could see close in the future.

"I'm such an idiot," he grumbled, and sighed as the limo pulled to a stop. The chauffer opened the door silently, his head bent so that the pageboy hat he was wearing covered his whole face. The hat reminded him of someone else's, but he shrugged and let himself get lost in his thoughts as the slender young man waved away a seemingly confused maid waiting to escort him in, presumably deciding to do it himself. If Hikaru had considered it he might have found it odd, or he might have noticed that what he was wearing was strongly familiar because he'd worn all of the articles of clothing at some point, but he was thinking about what he'd do if he ran into Kaoru now of all times…

The door was opened before him, the courteous driver bowing to let him enter first. He stepped into the room, planning to drop onto the bed and let the misery have him, probably tripping on candles-

Candles?

_What the hell…?_ He wondered, stopping short and staring at the white candles donning every single empty space in the room, some even scattered on the floor and lined around the bed. A clear path led to pure white sheets he now saw, the candle-light (the only light) flickering against the silk and turning the bedroom into something of a fantasy. He began to turn back.

"Hey-" Strong, slender arms slid around his waist, shocking him into stillness and silence.

"I'm sorry for being so childish." The gentle, apologetic whisper caressing his ear was enough to make him tremble, enough to make his knees weak. His voice, but kinder. Softer. Less masculine, more airy and light and beautiful; like a song, he'd always thought.

"I have _got_ to be hallucinating," he mumbled, but he made no attempt to move. He wanted to savor the delusion while it lasted, wanted to keep holding this feeling of wholeness, of rightness, of peace deep inside of him and never let it go.

"What?" There was a certain amount of confusion in the angelic voice next to his ear, but Hikaru didn't pick up on it. He was too busy concentrating on memorizing the sound.

"This is just another sick fantasy in my head that's never going to come true, because the real Kaoru is rightfully pissed off at me."

"Really now?" There was amusement and guilt in the voice behind him, but he didn't quite understand the reasons for them. "Well then, what do I usually do in your fantasies?"

"Usually or recently?" he replied, his sarcastic remark overshadowed by the pain in his voice.

"Recently." A lean body, perfectly matched with his, pressed against his back. He closed his eyes, trying to memorize this love, this warmth. He had the feeling he wouldn't be feeling this again for a long time. If at all.

"Oh, that's not as interesting." The lie was apparent in his voice. It wasn't that they were less interesting. It was that they were more painful.

"Try me."

"Mostly you kissing me senseless while assuring me in between how much you love me and that I'm forgiven and all that. Like I said, nothing interesting."

"I can arrange that if you'd like," Kaoru's perfect voice said, still amused and guilty. Hikaru's train of thought stumbled for a moment, wondering what that was. His fantasies never had Kaoru's voice sound like this. And they never, ever lasted this long. Then he brushed the thoughts away. There was no other explanation, in any case. Wasn't there?

Hikaru didn't particularly care about the mechanics of it. All he knew was that for this one moment, he was happier than he'd be as soon as he snapped out of it, and he wanted to enjoy his time with Kaoru while he could. He turned in his brother's arms and took in the exquisite features of his face, the slight differences. The kindness in his eyes, the gentle smile gracing his lips, the consternation in his eyes. This was not an expression that Hikaru's mind could imitate with ease, and he relished in the complete detail of this particular fantasy. He stared into those kind eyes with a small flicker of hope. And the dream Kaoru began to make good on his promise, backing him through the candles along the path until he fell onto the cold white sheets.

* * *

"… and I was… being as… much of… an idiot… as you were… so… I apologize too." They paused for a few seconds, gasping for breath for a few moments. The look on his Hikaru's face, of absolute bliss, was enough to kill him. He reached down and trailed his knuckles over his cheek, and Hikaru leaned into his hand like a cat being petted, his eyes fluttering closed. "I was just so tired of being hurt, Hikaru. So I suppose part of me subconsciously-"

"Engaged in a bit of S&M?" A lazy smile stretched over the face below him, his eyes at half-mast being the poster-example for bedroom eyes. Kaoru suppressed both the urge to roll his eyes and to shudder at his hungry expression. He wanted to stay in control this time. This wouldn't work if he didn't.

"Perhaps not the exact choice of words I was going to use," was all he said, sliding lower to gain better access to his neck and earlobes. Hikaru sighed and gave himself over to Kaoru's ministrations. "Do you still think I'm a dream?"

"Yeah, but it's enough for now to just enjoy this and hope that someday soon it really happens. In the mean time I want to enjoy just having you here."

There was happy resignation in his voice, and Kaoru's heart fluttered to know that Hikaru had been hurting without him. He knew it was sick, but the realization that he hadn't been the only one suffering was enough to make him euphoric. Hikaru loved him enough to get delusional with him gone. The prospect was so heartening that his heart seemed whole again somehow. Hikaru would realize he was wrong when he woke up the next morning though. He couldn't wait to see his reaction.

* * *

Hikaru's eyes fluttered opened to complete and utter darkness, and lay there for a few moment, relishing the feeling of perfection he could remember from last night's events. But it was pitch black, and he could see nothing in the darkness. Just proof that last night had been a dream. There were no candles flickering in the room at all. He bit his lip, trying hard not to be disappointed, but failed and let out a disappointed and anguished groan. He'd made the mistake of allowing himself to hope last night, and now he way paying for it. He sighed, about to get out of bed and try and find a light switch, when the sheets tangled around his waist moved and pulled him closer.

"Hikaru?" they mumbled. He blinked, his whole body stiffening.

"Kaoru?" he asked tentatively, his voice and body trembling. "Is that you?"

"I thought I was a dream," the voice behind him said with a tired, lazy smile apparent in his voice. Hikaru, still frozen with disbelief, let himself be pulled closer to a warm form behind him. "I missed this; waking up with you… you talking in your sleep." There was amusement dripping from behind him. "You said my name seventeen times before I lost count and fell asleep too."

"…"

"Hikaru?"

The worried, questing sound of his brother's voice broke him out of his stupor. He spun round suddenly, tangling both of them in sheets, reaching to find his brother's face in the darkness. He traced the familiar features with his fingers, running his thumb over his lips, brushing disbelieving kisses across every part of his face; his eyelids, the tip of his nose, along his jawline, until they were both breathless. Kaoru's mouth was smiling.

"You're here. I wasn't dreaming. You're actually here." He kissed him again for good measure, a deep sensuous one that left both their heads spinning. "Holy shit. I missed you so much."

"Very loquacious. Excellent choice of words, Hikaru," Kaoru replied dryly, just as breathless. Hikaru felt a hand cup his cheek. "And good morning to you, too."

Hikaru's heart began to pound as he realized that last night hadn't been a fantasy. That he'd said all those things… his whole face heated, and he was sure Kaoru could feel it beneath his fingers. He was proven right when a light snicker escaped the mouth in front of him, blowing that heady scent he'd fallen asleep to every night into his face. He buried his face in Kaoru's hair and inhaled, sighing contentedly. A wry smile turned up the corners of his mouth as he held himself as close as possible to his other half.

"So what did you hear last night?"

"As I expected, some begging and pleading at first. Asking me to come back and all that." Kaoru's voice was a little guilty. "And then, you know."

"I don't know, actually."

"A less… emotionally suggestive type of begging. More… physically implicative." He could feel Kaoru's blush against his neck, and he blushed a little too.

"Ah."

"And then some ordering, finally."

"Yeah, that…" Hikaru said, trailing off. Kaoru giggled, a sound that Hikaru loved. It was a strangely feminine sound, coming from a boy, but he loved it anyway. He was always looking for those certain noises that Kaoru made. He reveled in them.

"A lot of sexual tension builds up when I'm not available for harassment, I see."

"Shut up," Hikaru said, blushing and smiling with embarrassment. He shoved his brother lightly, then changed his mind and pulled him closer, pressing his forehead against Kaoru's. They stayed like that for a while, breathing in each other's scent, relishing in the feeling of being whole again.

"We should get up," Kaoru said resignedly after a few minutes. Hikaru sighed in agreement, but neither made a move to do anything. "Seriously, what if a maid comes in to clean."

"I really couldn't care less."

"Hikaru…"

Kaoru groaning his name almost made him hot all over again, but he sighed again and reached out for the light switch next to the bed instead, his other hand still stroking along Kaoru's jaw line with his thumb. They both blinked in the sudden light, then looked at each other, grinning stupidly. Both their lips were swollen, faces slightly flushed. Little hints of last night's activities were shown on their bodies; nail and teeth marks, small bruising, all in places no one else would see.

"Last night-"

"Was a bad idea considering we're in Tono's house," Kaoru said dryly, pulling himself out of bed and walking over to the closet, avoiding candles. He attempted to change into a clean pair of boxers, but Hikaru hindered this quite a bit by putting his arms around his waist and nibbling his ear as he did so. "Stop that!" He giggled.

"Why should I?" Hikaru asked, his voice a little husky.

"Because we-"

Knocking on the door interrupted them.

"Oh, shit," they said together, staring at the door. There was no way they could find a place for all the candles, and they both smelled like… "What are we going to do?"

**A/N: Problems? Who do you think it is? O.O... So yay, no more angst. Now we can get to the final issue of Tamaki and Haruhi being idiots too. XD Anyways, I want to know what you think! Reviews pls! Was this too sappy? And tell me how Tamaki and Haruhi should finally meet again, because I really have no idea what I'm going to do about that. **


	16. A Mother's Wisdom

"Um, hold on a minute!" called Kaoru, squirming out of Hikaru's arms in a panic. He pulled out a pair of cargo pants and a sleeveless shirt.

"Shit," Hikaru hissed. "It wouldn't be so bad for me to be here, but how the fuck are we going to explain the candles?!"

"Shut up and get in the closet," Kaoru said, hopping around and tripping over candles in his haste to put on the previously forgotten boxers he'd had in his hand and change.

"What?"

"The closet!" Kaoru growled, pointing imperiously as he shoved his head through the shirt.

"Why?"

"Just do it!"

Hikaru grumbled and caught his own clothes from the day before, pulling them into the closet with him and shutting the door. Kaoru looked around for anymore evidence, gathering socks and shoes and shoving them under the bed. Another knock sounded from the door, more impatient this time. He shoved a hand through his hair and cringed as his hand touched the handle. No way anyone was going to fall for this little ruse…

He pulled the door open slightly with a sigh, trying very hard to keep a smile on his face as he turned to close it behind him. He hoped whoever it was hadn't seen the inside of the room. "Good morning. How might I- oh, it's you."

"Don't you want to see us, Kao-chan?" asked Huni-Senpai, holding up a piece of cake.

"Well, actually-"

"So come on, let's go!"

"Ah, actually, I really would have liked to shower…"

"It's okay Kao-chan, we don't mind, ne Takashi?"

"Ah," the tall senior said, but there was no clear agreement in his voice. Huni blinked up at him.

"Takashi?"

"Ah, Mitsukuni…"

"Takashi?" Huni asked, peering up at his cousin. Kaoru looked at the tall senior pleadingly. "Should we wait for him to shower?"

"Hai."

"Oh… okay," Huni said, turning to beam at Kaoru. "Nevermind, see you in a little bit. We're going to go say hi to Tama-chan, okay?"

"Hai…" Kaoru mumbled, watching as Huni vaulted up onto his cousin's broad shoulders and they continued down the hall. He'd have to remember to find a way to pay back Mori. As soon as they were out of sight he ran back into the room. "Hikaru?"

His brother fell out of the closet. "Ouch."

"Come on, we have about five minutes to shower. Huni-senpai and Mori-senpai are visiting Tono," he said, attempting to help his brother up. Hikaru blinked, refusing to budge.

"So why are we hiding from them?"

"Hikaru…" Kaoru, groaned. He-, no, _they_ didn't have time for this, but he could tell that groaning his other half's name wasn't the best way to convince him to get moving when he saw the look in the amber eyes in front of him.

"Do we have to?" he asked, his eyes smoldering. Kaoru stopped, and gave him a look.

"Yes, we do," he said, although there was a small amount of regret in his voice. "The bathroom is large enough for both of us." He opened the door and stood there, looking at his brother meaningfully. Hikaru sighed and pulled himself off the floor.

"Coming."

* * *

Tamaki looked up from the admittedly unnerving conversation he'd been having with the two seniors as Kaoru entered the room. He smiled widely at him, but there was a caveat note in his expression. Huni and Mori looked at the blonde Host King curiously. "How'd it go?"

"I'd say rather well," murmured Kaoru's voice, but his lips remained motionless. Tamaki looked at the younger boy, confused, until a flash by the unclosed door caught his attention. Another red mop of hair. He looked closer and realized that his assumption – based on the obviously incorrect fact that there was only one twin in the house and that twin was Kaoru – was totally wrong. He'd been able to tell the twins apart for a while now, and his eyes widened as he realized that the face staring at him was more mischievous and wicked. It was Hikaru that had just entered the room.

"You made up! Oh, father is so happy!" Tamaki proceeded to go into a fit, while the twins rolled their eyes and slung their arms around each other's shoulders.

"So, Tono," they began, "now that we're talking again, we decided we had a few questions for you."

"For example," continued Kaoru, "how are you going to continue?" finished Hikaru.

"With the Haruhi situation," they clarified. Tamaki blushed furiously at this.

"Well, you see, I was thinking… I mean, you both know that I… I was just going to tell her, but then I supposed… and then I was talking to Huni-Senpai and I got confused," he stuttered out. The twins looked at each other and snickered.

"Right."

"Tama-chan needs help, ne Takashi?" Huni said, making it more a statement than a question.

"Hai."

There was a pause as Tamaki began to gasp and stutter frantically and Huni and the twins looked at each other. The blonde prince watched his friends carefully as they looked at each other. Mori looked too, but the stoicism in his face prevented too much unspoken conversation. The twins finally turned to each other.

"We need the Demon King," they said resignedly.

"Yes! Kyoya will help! Mommy will help daddy!" Tamaki cried, whipping out his cell phone.

"Kyoya-Senpai's not going to be very happy about that," muttered Kaoru, snickering. Tamaki did his best to ignore them.

"You think?" Hikaru replied, arching one eyebrow with a smug smile. "It's already nine o' clock!" The fake confusion in his voice made them both snicker again. Tamaki just concentrated on the ringing.

"This should be fun to watch."

* * *

"This had best be important, Tamaki, or I cannot guarantee your health the next time you're within arm's reach."

Tamaki suppressed a shiver. "Mommy doesn't have to be so mean in the morning! What if daddy just wanted to hear Mommy's voice?!"

"Tamaki, if this is a social call I promise you-"

"You have to come over right away! We're having a club meeting!" There was a pause and some snickers on the other side, and Kyoya realized he must be on speaker. "We're having a club meeting with only boys, I mean!"

Kyoya sighed, reaching for his glasses. "I assume this has something to do with your recent epiphany about your true feelings for our scholarship student 'daughter'?" He said daughter in a way that made Tamaki feel as if he was being made fun of, but he pushed the thoughts away.

"Um… maybe?"

There was a resigned sigh on the other end of the line. "You," Kyoya intoned, "have been promoted. You're not just an idiotic pest anymore."

Tamaki grinned. "Thank you, Ky-!"

"You are a venerable pain in my ass."

The howls of laughter and indignant spluttering on the other side of the line drowned out the sound of the line going dead.

* * *

It took half an hour for the Shadow King to get to the Suoh mansion, and it still wasn't short enough. Tamaki spent the whole time fretting and giving the twins a headache. When he finally arrived, he was obviously not happy, and wasted no time beating around the bush.

"You can't just tell her. It's tactless and idiotic."

"What?! _I_ am _not_ tactless! I know all there is to know about romance! I-"

"_You_," Kyoya began, the coldness in his voice silencing Tamaki instantaneously, "asked me to come over here to help you. And I am telling you, you can't just up and confess when you were being such an idiot before."

Tamaki pouted.

"And you know _nothing _about romance that one could not gather from B-list American romance novels and shoujo manga."

If Tamaki wasn't sick he would have crawled off to cultivate mushrooms. As it was, the look on his face was priceless. Kyoya adjusted his glasses, having no sympathy after being awoken so early.

The twins burst out laughing for the millionth time that morning. "You're on a roll today, Kyoya-Senpai!" they applauded. He gave them a withering glance, but it was far from effective. The utopia that was the other's company at that moment couldn't be overshadowed by anything. If Kyoya noticed this, he made no sign of it.

"So what should I do, then?" Tamaki whined.

"Give her cake? And a romantic dinner?"

Huni's comment was ignored. There was a pause before a light bulb appeared over Tamaki's head. He opened his mouth but the twins beat him to it.

"Nice jewelry or anything like that is out of the question considering Haruhi's disposition towards all things fancy, Tono, so don't even think about it." More pouting.

"Take her on a picnic."

Five people turned to stare at Kyoya incredulously.

"She likes food. It won't be fancy. She can relax. It's warm, due to the fact that it's summer. There's a small private park your family owns with a gazebo in it, correct?"

A period of silence met his suggestion, followed by delighted squeals.

"Mommy is so smart! Daddy knew he could count on Mommy to-"

"Shut up while I call and place an order for food to be sent there next Saturday," Kyoya said, picking up his phone. "And you'd better be well by then, or I swear…"

The twins watched Tamaki's mind go into overdrive and realized how brilliant the Demon King really was. His threats were so much more effective when he let his more imaginative victim finish them for him. He didn't even have to try.

**A/N: Kyoya is a genius. This is why we love him. XD. Anyway, hope you liked this one. Nothing much left to write but the sappy scenes at the end. A part of me misses the angst… Comments, questions… and suggestions! Suggestions are really needed 'cause frankly I have no idea how I am going to manage the TamaHaru chapter. Help=greatly appreciated! **


	17. Last Chapter:::SUGGESTIONS NEEDED

**A/N:**

**Alright, so I know I haven't touched this at all. **

**The reasons for this have been posted several times already,**

**in other stories and so on,**

**but I figured I should post it here for those who don't read my other work.**

**This story, in short,**

**has presented me with a major case or writer's block.**

**Yes, I know it's the last chapter.**

**But I just can't picture Haruhi at a picnic.**

**It won't happen.**

**So if you have any suggestions, **

**I'd really appreciate them.**

**Otherwise, this is on hiatus until I can figure out where the hell I'm going with it.**

**I'm really sorry about the whole thing,**

**but hopefully someone will give me some inspiration.**

**Point being; **

**SUGGESTIONS NEEDED**

**Thanks. And again, sorry.**


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